Thursday, March 12, 2009


I have a fat cat.

There, I said it, my confession for the day. Our cat, is huge, not just merely a little overweight. He is a giant. He is not fat because we feed him table scraps or overfeed him his cat food, he gets less than half a cup a day, he doesn't get too many treats every day, and he doesn't have a toddler or infant around who he can sneak bites from. Our cat is fat because he is the laziest being on the planet, even more lazy than a the typical house cat. Decker just sits, he doesn't play, he doesn't go outside, he doesn't chase the girls around, in fact the only exercise he gets is when I stomp my foot as he's walking through the room and scare him into bolting back to where he came from. Not that I would ever do that! *Oh, wait, yes, I would do that, I don't really like our cat, and he doesn't much care for me either. But that's ok, I'm willing to be the bad guy when he's willing to destroy my house with his hairballs and claws.

Recently I found something that will make him exercise of his own free will. While shopping at The Wal-Mart , I found a scratch pad with a little zipper pouch on the back. Do you know what you are supposed to put in the little zipper pouch? Cat Nip. If you've never seen a cat who has enjoyed the pleasures of cat nip, you wouldn't know what a complete sensory overload these cats apparently enjoy. (However, if in college, you saw people testing their sensory perceptions after a little marijuana, then you are on the right track.) The scratch pad I found is about the size of a piece of paper, it's got a rough front side and a fabric backside where the pouch is. It is Decker's favorite toy, in fact it is the only toy he even plays with. It doesn't even have to have fresh nip in it. He bolts to the living room and attacks the pad with the ferocity of... well, ok, not so much ferocity, but he does attack it in his own way. He grabs it with his claws, rolls all over it, picks it up and smacks it around, rolls on his back and lays it on top of him, then does it all over again. Then he puts his face as close as possible to the pouch on the back, and his eyes glaze over, his pupils dilate and suddenly he bolts from the room and tears around the house, then comes back for more of the same routine. This lasts for about 5 minutes. When you are a 22 pound cat, that's all the energy you have for running around the house. Then he's suddenly ready for a long, warm nap.

Miss 10 is Decker's favorite person to lay with for these naps. He will stand in front of her and cry until she goes and sits or lays in a chair, he hops up and is purring loudly enough that she has to turn the tv up in order to hear it. Then he sleeps. He will sit or lay anywhere that she will, because... he loves her. The photo above has been purposely blurred at the edges in order to prevent the embarrassment of our incredibly fat cat. He would be mortified to see himself in this shape.

Happy Love Thursday everyone!

1 comment:

DeeAnn said...

We love that big burly cat too! He's the best kids cat ever!!!