Setting: 10:30 last night, 1.5 hours after Miss 10 was supposed to be in bed and sleeping. Mother is at the computer checking emails and considering a glass of w(h)ine and a brief half hour of adult time with Hubby.
Miss 10 walks on the set.
10- obviously upset, crying "Mom, can you come in my room I need to talk to you."
Mother follows into bedroom.
Mom- concerned and suspicious at the same time. "What is it, why are you crying?"
10- "I can't stop thinking about dying." follow with heart breaking sobs.
Mom-"Why in the world are you thinking about that?"
10-"I don't knowwwwww... (Sobbing, wiping nose and eyes and looking incredibly sad) I just can't help it and I can't sleep. I don't want anyone to die! I don't want to die! Why do I have to be the youngest so that I have to go through everyone dying!"
Mom- hugging 10 and wiping tears "Oh honey. This isn't something you need to think about right now. There shouldn't be such sad thoughts in your head before bedtime."
Never-the-less a discussion ensues about the value of life, the thoughts of people waiting for you in heaven and the wonderings of whether or not you remember each other while you are in heaven and others aren't. More sobbing, nose wiping and hugging, a few giggles and some snuggling. Questions about being the youngest and her siblings dying before she does. Mother reassures of future husbands and children's who will be with her.
10-"I wish you weren't my mom!"
Mom-hurt, surprised "why in the world would you wish that? I love being your Mom! It's the best job I have ever had, why wouldn't you want me for your mother?"
10-"because, if you weren't my mom, you wouldn't have to die so much before me and I wouldn't have to live so much of my life without you!"
More crying, this time, from the Mother and Daughter... sleep being a long way off now. Fade.....
Sign in an elevator of at Kohls
5 years ago