After a weekend of swim meet I am exhausted, and I can't imagine how tired the girls must be. Just sitting in the heat of the pool for two days straight and helping organize little people and timers made me feel like I was the one who swam. My poor girls dealt with shivering, swimming and the chaos that goes along with it, and they had to go to school as normal today. I expect a lot of them.
We have now given the girls new nicknames, not that either of them likes them, but Mercury and Evinrude appear to be appropriate after the weekend they had. Can you guess why we chose those names?
Both girls had awesome swims this weekend, and both had swims that took them out of their comfort zone. Meaning, both girls begged me to let them scratch at least one event, and I, being an evil and horrible meanie, said no. Miss 10 swam a 200 IM (50 butterfly, 50 back, 50 breast and 50 free all in one race) and Miss 15 had to swim the 100 breast, which strains her former surgery incisions and makes her legs shake. Both took 2nd in each of those events. Hooray! They also swam events that they did incredibly well in. They will both bring home 10 different placing ribbons, including at least one first for each of them. Miss 10 being the anchor of a relay that won them the race and Miss 15 taking first in a backstroke event while suffering through yet another "heart spell" followed by a quick run to the bathroom to revisit her lunch, still, took first! Whoo! She was fine by the way, she blames her heart when that happens, I blame her nerves, whatever it was she was swimming and eating again within moments.
Both girls also were able to place ahead of rivals who they have never beat before, so they were excited. I was just happy they were happy, I really don't care where they place. But still, tears to see them cheering for themselves.
This week we have a fundraiser where each child is asked to swim 200 lengths or two hours. So back to the pool I will go to count lengths. Then Sunday, yet another swim meet. Then we are off until the State meet in March, where both girls have now qualified many events. Sigh... swim season goes on forever!
And I don't get to! Stomp, stomp! Pout, pout...
Tropical beaches, mountain vistas, ocean views. Nearly everyone we know these days is planning, has just returned from or is leaving soon on a vacation of one kind or another. 6 sets of couples just returned from a cruise that left out of Florida just over 2 weeks ago. 6 couples, all with children, most with children in school. How did they find people to do their parenting and running so they could get away alone? How do parents do that? It baffles me.
Our neighbors left for Cancun over the weekend, sans children. My sister is spending a month (!!) in Hawaii this spring. My cousin has trips planned to fun locals that you can read about on her blog.(although some of their trips are work related) Hubby's cousin had a trip to Las Vegas planned for last week, however her husband got snowed in at work and couldn't get home for them to go. And a tiny, evil, vindictive part of me was sort of glad they couldn't go, that's how jealous I was, but the other 99.9% of me was so sad for them especially when they have yet to get any of their money back. Several acquaintances have recently returned from ski trips, and still more are planning trips that leave very soon.
Perhaps it's the weather these days making people decide to head out to far reaching locals. Lord knows it's not a lot of fun being here at the moment. But my biggest wonderment still comes down to how do they do it? How do you pull your kids out of school to take them along, or if you aren't taking them, how do you find someone willing to uproot their lives to take over yours for a while?
I am so incredibly jealous of all of them. Our biggest deterrent though has to be cost, and perhaps it's because I don't work full time or even part time at the moment. How do you pay the every day bills and still take trips? Any money we would have that is extra goes to paying for a hotel room to take our girls to a state swim meet, plus the fees that go along with swimming that meet. Then there are the hotel bills we will be paying for a medical appointment out of town for Miss 15 in April, plus the medical appointment costs.
I'm crabby, tired of the weather and so jealous of everyone who gets to take a trip that it makes me resentful and irritated. Today, I am not feeling one bit generous or giving. Today, I am feeling frustrated and petty.
Stomp, stomp, pout, pout! No Fair!!
Setting: 10:30 last night, 1.5 hours after Miss 10 was supposed to be in bed and sleeping. Mother is at the computer checking emails and considering a glass of w(h)ine and a brief half hour of adult time with Hubby.
Miss 10 walks on the set.
10- obviously upset, crying "Mom, can you come in my room I need to talk to you."
Mother follows into bedroom.
Mom- concerned and suspicious at the same time. "What is it, why are you crying?"
10- "I can't stop thinking about dying." follow with heart breaking sobs.
Mom-"Why in the world are you thinking about that?"
10-"I don't knowwwwww... (Sobbing, wiping nose and eyes and looking incredibly sad) I just can't help it and I can't sleep. I don't want anyone to die! I don't want to die! Why do I have to be the youngest so that I have to go through everyone dying!"
Mom- hugging 10 and wiping tears "Oh honey. This isn't something you need to think about right now. There shouldn't be such sad thoughts in your head before bedtime."
Never-the-less a discussion ensues about the value of life, the thoughts of people waiting for you in heaven and the wonderings of whether or not you remember each other while you are in heaven and others aren't. More sobbing, nose wiping and hugging, a few giggles and some snuggling. Questions about being the youngest and her siblings dying before she does. Mother reassures of future husbands and children's who will be with her.
10-"I wish you weren't my mom!"
Mom-hurt, surprised "why in the world would you wish that? I love being your Mom! It's the best job I have ever had, why wouldn't you want me for your mother?"
10-"because, if you weren't my mom, you wouldn't have to die so much before me and I wouldn't have to live so much of my life without you!"
More crying, this time, from the Mother and Daughter... sleep being a long way off now. Fade.....
Happy Love Thursday everyone!
The first picture is the cookies Miss 15 got from one of her swim students. She's a coach and her athletes love her. They hang on her and beg for her attention whenever she's around the pool. They cheer for her at meets and she does the same for them.
The 2nd photo is of Miss 10's Valentine box for school. Actually it's just the top. Usually we do a theme of some kind, but this year she just wanted a pretty box. So we made it on Tuesday when school was canceled due to the weather. She also filled out all her Valentine cards that day and was ready to go for their class party today.
You know when you have a little of everything, you throw it in the pot and call it stew, or soup? (Actually I would never do that, but you get the point, right?) That's what this post is like, a little of everything.
Yesterday Miss 15 texted me at about noon. (I know, shame on her, in school... bad, bad girl!) She asked if I could come and pick her up at lunch because her heart was misbehaving, again, and she was feeling awful. So I picked her up and brought her home. I offered to make her some lunch, but she decided to make her own instead. Her stomach hurt and her arms were numb. This is nothing new when it comes to how her heart makes her feel, but it is new to have both together. I made her sit for a while to get her heart slowed, then she changed clothes and decided to nap. Her heart racing like that exhausts her, to the point where she's barely coherent sometimes. So she crawled into bed with her usual mountain of covers and a fan on for noise. After 2 hours I decided I needed to wake her and see if she was able to go to work (coach at the pool) or if she felt better, etc. I went in her room and put her clean clothes on her dresser, talking softly the whole time. She never even moved, I spoke a little louder and wiggled her foot. She didn't move. I moved closer to her ear, shook her shoulder, touched her face, and she never moved. For these brief few moments my heart stopped, I had this terrified feeling of panic that she just wasn't going to wake up and I should have checked on her sooner. I pulled the blankets off her shoulders, shook her a bit and said her name. She jumped and rolled over to look at me. My legs shook, the relief was so intense. It didn't even last a full minute, but for that short time I was scared to death. How our mind can move to those scary places so quickly is surprising sometimes. She's fine today and was fine by shortly after her nap. Although now she is asking if we could look into having the same surgery again, to see if it wouldn't work this time. There are no pediatric cardiologists in our state any more, nor in the one that is 30 miles just to my west. So traveling will ensue with this project.
Mr 19 went and visited his cousins, aunt and uncle last weekend. They are 4 hours from where he goes to college now, so he trekked their direction for his cousin's final home swim meet of his high school career. My sister in law called to tell me what an amazing kid he is, how much fun they had with him, how he picked up after himself, made his bed, was helpful and polite. I asked her if she was sure this was my son and not an impostor. He's not like that here, ever. But maybe we can take solace in the fact that he is like that with others. We may have done something right!
Facebook has reunited me with a friend from high school who I thought I had lost forever. Hi Lo!! She reads here now as well. I can't tell you how much it pleases me to visit with her again. She makes me laugh, she makes me feel better about myself and she's an awesome person. Good to have you back, Lo!
Hubby and I have offered our girls a short trip away from home. We gave them 4 destinations to choose from and options at all the places for some fun, food and relaxing. The girls have a 4 day weekend coming up, and Hubby and are are VERY anxious to get away. But the girls aren't. They just want to stay home. Perhaps because they are so busy every other day of their lives, just staying home will feel like a vacation to them. Plus I am sure they are anxious to spend some time with their friends. But it is really disappointing to Hubby and I. We were both looking forward to a short trip.
This weekend we are headed 120 miles east for a two day swim meet. Miss 10 will compete and Miss 15 will coach. Both will be exhausted and crabby from the heat and activities. We have tons of errands and purchases that need to be done while we are there. We will not have happy campers traveling with us. And, naturally, since we are leaving there is now a chance for snow, wind and just after we get home (hopefully it will wait!) a winter storm.
Is that enough ingredients for a good stew? I hope so, because now I am being summoned to get moving and get some work done.
Enjoy the stew!
Happy Love Thursday!
