Even though technically he became Mr 20 yesterday, I still intend to tout his virtues today. Why? Because yesterday my Internet decided to take a pre Thanksgiving vacation leaving me to actually have to work on things besides the computer.
20 years ago today (yesterday) as I lay in a hospital bed, after waiting for 36 hours and missing Thanksgiving dinner, you were born. As with most things in your life you chose to make it difficult. You weren't coming out, period. You decided that it was warm and toasty where you were, and the contractions coming 5 minutes apart for the past 36 hours could not convince you otherwise. Finally though, the pitocin drip had just the right effect on you. But the pitocin drip made me want to scream and rip someones head off. The (male) Doc decided it was time. And we commenced pushing, and pushing and pushing, and you must have grabbed hold of my lower rib and held on for all you were worth because you were NOT coming out. We should have guessed then exactly how terribly stubborn you were going to be. The (male) Doc then decided to try forceps, but oh no, not one set of forceps, he went through 3 different types of forceps. In the end, I told him to knock it off, and you were finally born. Sometimes I do win arguments between you and I, and I won this one!
Hubby and I were exhausted and thrilled and at 21 and 23 had no idea of the path that was ahead of us. You were a cry-er, and not a sleeper, and the exhaustion over having a newborn seemed overwhelming. So what did we do? 3 weeks after you were born we packed up our small household and moved 120 or so miles away from our closest family. No one ever said 20 something year old parents were geniuses.
We spent 6 months in a lack of sleep induced stupor before finally giving up and moving closer to help. (And a college we could afford for me to attend!)
Son, you are stubborn, over the years we have had innumerable clashes of opinion. Our opinions weren't the same regarding curfews, privileges, homework, grades, girls, friends, chores, TV viewing habits... The list would be long. We fought, we fight. You have learned lessons from me, (I hope) and I have learned lessons from you, my oldest child. You taught me to be a better parent. You taught me patience. You taught me the value of a well written note instead of a yelling, screaming face off. You taught me that at times, if I just shut up, you'll talk, eventually. I've learned that things I never imagined you listened to me about have actually helped you in the long run and you have repeated them to others.
I've learned to text, and text well, because that is the only way you speak to me during those long, long months you are away at college. I have learned that when my phone rings, and you actually call me, it's because you forgot to do something, you have lost something or you need me to mail you something.
Even though we don't always see eye to eye, I have learned things about you from others. I have learned what an amazing friend you are, and how people rely on you. I have learned you are the first one to volunteer to help someone who needs you: whether it's to jump start a car, give a ride to someone who shouldn't be driving (even when you've been in bed asleep for 2 hours already), shovel out a stuck car, drive someone when they have no other way to get there, talk on the phone at all hours of the night to someone who just needs your ear, ask me questions that they are too scared to ask their own parents when they need advice, speak out for someone who is too afraid to use their own voice, etc. The list goes on and on. You have become an amazing young man, and I am very, very proud of you!
I am convinced that as life goes on we will still disagree, and I am ok with that. I hope you are too, because I've learned so much from you and even when we don't agree, I think you learn from me too. Mr 20, I miss you with all my heart and soul when you are away at college, but I know that moving forward with your life is your new path. But even then, I wish I could bring you home, curl you up in your aqua blanket and your Elmo and snuggle with you while we read "Where The Wild Things Are." Happy Birthday to my first born and only son. Enjoy your 20's!
Sign in an elevator of at Kohls
8 years ago