Springs Work

There are times when life just gets away from me in the busy-ness that is my world in the spring. I forget to look closely at the new buds on the trees, the flowers just starting to blossom and the plants that are just coming up and reaching for the warmth of the sun.

Instead I find myself running from the van, to the house, to the school, to the play date, or to the store. I find myself pretending to listen as Miss 11 tells me a story, and when she is done I can't remember what it is she said. I forget things I shouldn't and I stress over the scheduling of the weeks before school gets out.

Hubby is swamped at his job, so life here at home is my responsibility. Hubby has been coming home to sleep every other night, but by the time he gets here, I'm already in bed, and he is home less than 10 hours or so. His springs work involves our livelihood. There is no putting off anything at his job, everything needs to be done and done well for it to pay our bills the rest of the year. The stress he feels and puts on himself is sometimes overwhelming.

Here at home I attempt to deal with all the day to day drama without involving Hubby at all. His brain needs to be at work, and my brain needs to deal with 3 kids and the drama that goes with them. Though there are times that I simply cannot make decisions on my own about certain problems and I have to call for his input, but physically I am in charge here on my own for a while. It makes me wonder how single parents can ever make it without losing their minds.

There are times when he is walking out the door early in the morning, on his 16th day in a row of work, that I have to stop myself from begging him to stay home. Not because I need his help physically for a task or job of some kind, but just because I need him here to talk to, to hug and to touch. The kids need him here to talk to and visit with as well, and though none will admit they miss him, the girls both ask often when he will be home from work, if he'll be home that night, or if he has to work tomorrow, too.

Life here although busy starts to slow down a little bit this week with the return of summer vacation for the kids. Miss 11 had her last day on Friday, the older two have been done nearly a week. Hopefully that will mean more time to visit with each other, to play games, shop, go for bike rides and walks, and generally relax just a bit. But until Hubby can be home with us in the evenings and on weekends, even summer vacation, doesn't feel as sweet.