Responsibility

Bet you thought this post was going to go on and on and whine about how my children never pick up after themselves, and never do what they are told, right? Well, you are wrong, though there is one in particular who does that, this post isn't about him, oops, I mean isn't about that particular subject.

This post is regarding Miss 11 and her complete ability to baffle me. Or it could be my inability to understand her, one or the other, and who's responsibility it is to keep her moving forward.

Late last week Miss 16 and Mr 19 were fortunate enough to be at the lake with friends. Miss 16 was staying at a cabin with a friend and her family and Mr 19 was off gallivanting with his friends at a nearby lake. Miss 11 was stuck home with us, as is not unusual since she is only 11. We felt sorry for her, and decided to take her out for ice cream.

We drove to the ice cream place, actually it's a miniature golf place that just happens to serve ice cream, and stepped up to the counter to decide what we wanted. There were two people working, a mother and son I would guess, and they both started talking to us. Heaven forbid! Miss 11 was trying to make her decision when one of them asked, "What can I get you? Waffle cone, plain cone, dish?" She looked at me, clearly panicked to have people speaking to her, with a question in her eyes. I explained her options and she whispered the answer to me, I relayed it to the attendant. The attendant picked up the waffle cone, walked back over and asked what she wanted in it. Again Miss 11 got the panicked look in her eyes, and I just took over, telling the attendant what I wanted, Hubby then told them what he wanted and Miss 11 was still trying to decide. Finally she whispered in Hubby's ear what she had decided and he passed the information on. End of transaction, we got ate our ice cream (mine was licorice chip by the way, mmmmmm!) and walked to the van.

As the evening progressed I thought more and more about how shy Miss 11 can be, and I worried as mother's do about how we sometimes coddle her. I wondered whether I should have forced her to order her own ice cream, or if just making her life easier was ok.

Then yesterday I had one of those "oh my gosh my kids don't need me" moments. Miss 11 has volleyball camp this week. She attends for 1.5 hours every morning. It's in a building she has spent time in often for various other volleyball related activities. I have always had to walk her in to those activities, stay until she was comfortable with her coach, or sometimes stay the entire time, and if I left I always had to be back well before she was done waiting where she could see me.

Yesterday we got to the building, she opened the van door, hopped out and said "see you afterwards!"

"Wait," I said, "don't you want me to walk you in?"

"Nope, I'm good!"

"Um, ok, I'll be waiting in the parking lot when you are done, I'll park by the building, look for me there."

"Ok, bye Mom, love you!"

And off she scampered. I had added the wait for you in the parking lot part just to test her, and she was fine. She didn't care if I was coming in, or walking her in, she was completely fine being dropped off. It was strange, especially after the few days spent worrying about the shyness. She didn't know who was her coach or who was at camp, and none of it bothered her.

So now I wonder, what do I force her to do (order for herself) and what do I just wait for her to be comfortable doing on her own?

Ear Muffs

Last week we went to SuperSister's best friends farm. She raises mini horses and full size horses. We had a great time wandering through the mini pen with the new babies. My girls were in love and both begged to bring one home.

The best part was watching my Niece. Although she has been at the farm several times, and she begs to go, she still has a slight fear of the animals and spends her entire time wandering around with her hands over her ears. For some reason she has chosen this as her scared look, and she does it all the time. You can see her in the bottom left of the photo with Miss 11.

Less Needed

Yesterday was a big day for Miss 16. She was very nervous, but she persevered and passed her driver's license test! So now we have 1 more driver in the house, and because of that I am just a little less needed at home. Sigh. Though I love that I won't need to schedule my time around when both girls need rides, I am really going to miss the times I had in the vehicles with Miss 16. Not always, but many days when I picked her up from school I got a little glimpse into what her days are like, she usually had something to tell me, or something to complain about, and I will miss those few moments we had alone each day. Yes, we'll probably have times at home alone before Miss 11 will need a ride home, but it's not the same. There are too many rooms in the house, too many things that need to be done, and too much temptation to be in separate rooms. I'll miss those trapped in the car with mom moments of one on one time.

Twin Cities Tour

We are home from our vacation in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Although it really didn't feel much like a vacation, we didn't do a lot of touristy things, we didn't sit on a beach and relax, I didn't read any trashy novels. But, we did stay in a hotel, and the girls swam in the pool there, so I guess there is that.

Miss 16 had her Doc appointment with her surgeon, long story short, more monitoring required. So although it was a short to the point appointment, this way we have a direction to take.

Mr 19 went along and stayed at my Hubby's sister's place. He took over their basement for a while and hung out with his newly graduated cousin, SuperSwimBoy. SuperSwimBoy will be moving on to swim at Gustavus, a college close to his home town. The boys hung out, went to a Twin's game that lasted 16 innings and generally caroused for "hot chicks."

The girls have a cousin who is 15, she spent time with us doing some shopping, gossiping and driving. Miss 11 has run out of too many things in common with the girls at the moment, as they mostly talk about who's hawt and who's not... but they included her some, and I appreciated that.

My favorite part of the trip was a visit to Trader Joe's. I brought home a few bags of goodies and I am conserving them so I can whip out a treat now and then when I'm feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I live in a town with crap for grocery stores. (why, oh why doesn't Trader Joe's have an online shopping sight??)

I'll be heading out on Thursday for a birthday celebration with SuperSister where Supersister, Miss 16, Miss 11, SuperSisterinLaw and maybe Hubby and Mr 19 will be going to the new Harry Potter flick. I can't wait!

So just in case you wondered if I got kidnapped while I was in the big city, no such luck, I'll be around to bore you again soon!