A Little of This, A Dash of That

Merry Christmas

2010-12-17T13:08:00.000-06:00

Don't Get Me Started

2010-12-03T10:22:00.002-06:00

*Warning*Warning*Warning*Warning*

I'm not particularly a parent of the "let them suck it up and deal" variety. I hate it when I can't make everything "just right" for my kids. They have plenty of things to deal with at school (Middle School and High School drama anyone??) that I can not help with, so when there are things I can do to make their lives easier, I do it. (I do this for hubby, friends, family, etc. when I can too, it's just how lovely I really am.. ha!)

In the last few months Miss 17 has been dealing with different swim team drama. She is a captain this year, there is a new head coach, things aren't well organized, the list is long, I won't bore you. Suffice it to say I have been doing many, many things to help the coach and my daughter keep the team going forward in an organized manner. It's been a strenuous year for me and I'm not even swimming.
The State Meet came and went, Miss 17 did well, not as well as she would have liked since her heart chose right then to act up, but she was brave and pushed through her pain and dealt with it. Me, I was a nervous wreck, but that's another story.
In the end , because we just want it over with, I am now having to deal with the end of the season banquet planning, balloting for team awards, and all that goes with end of the year gift, plaques and so forth. I have secured the location, planned the food, created the ballots for awards, sent out emails to parents, sent out notes to team mates, counted ballots with another mother and done all the things needed to get this banquet (and this stressful season) over with.
In the meantime Miss 17 has to deal with the wrath of her team mates over silly things. Ballots were due on November 22. I collected them from the schools (3 different schools!) on November 23rd, just to give the girls a little extra time. I waited an entire week to count them so if there were any late comers I could get theirs too. But at that point we could wait no longer and another swim mom helped me count them and we called them in to get names put on the plaques at the engraver. Fast forward a few days and now Miss 17 is getting chewed out by the girls because they can no longer turn in their ballots. It frustrates the begeeberz out of me because I could not have made the process any more simple. (I couldn't have... the coach could have if she would have gotten it together enough to do the balloting AT THE POOL when all the girls were RIGHT THERE! Again, another story....) If I could have the girls chew me out instead, I would, it's not Miss 17's fault that this season was an unorganized mess, and I HATE that she takes the blame for any of it. I have worked hard to prevent the messes that occur if no one takes charge and gets things done. I have gone way above and beyond the call of duty for a mother, and yet it isn't enough that I have been able to make it "just right" for Miss 17. Things that aren't her fault, are getting placed right on her shoulders, things the coach should have done she's getting the fall out for. How I wish I could make it all better and this season could have been the perfect, amazing, exciting and fun season that she had dreamed of for so long. But I can't make it all better, no matter how much I tried. Does anyone have one of those time changing things that Hermoine Granger has? I'd like to borrow it, please.

2010-11-03T14:59:00.000-06:00

Potato picking time! Here's one of the giants of the year. It makes Hubby's hands look small, doesn't it? His hands are definitely not small, though. It's all an illusion!

Fuzzy

2010-10-01T10:15:00.000-05:00

We are feeling a little fuzzy around the edges at our house this week. Homecoming always becomes a torture with both girls in band, swimming and all the other chaos that comes with high school and homecoming. Early morning swim practices, think 5:30 a.m., early morning band practices, late nights float building, homework and the added workouts of "peak week" for the swim season. Today is the homecoming game, pep band, the parade, homecoming dance, etc. I'm not sure I was ever quite as involved as my kids have been, but they all tend to go all out this week.
It has however come at a cost for Miss 17. She spent the week with chest tightness, or as she calls it "a headache in my chest" surrounding her heart. She's had some mild dizziness and tiredness. Is this surprising, no, I remember this happening to her before. Is it concerning? Yes, a bit. We have scheduled a doctor's appointment for early next week, and her coach and I decided she won't be attending the swim meet this weekend. This despite her protests and uncontrollable sobbing. She's not crying because she's so anxious to swim, although she is anxious to swim and do well, she's crying because she feels such an obligation to her team mates and her coaches. She's worn herself down to the point that her body is protesting. Her SVT allows her to go so far and then shuts her down. We are working on teaching her when to listen to her body and just say enough is enough I need a break. Her team mates are disappointed she won't be there to lead their cheers, to swim on their relays and to be the positive support system they all expect from her. She needs to work on de-fuzzing her edges so that next week, and the following weeks, she can go back to being herself.

Mama Bear Mama Bear What Do You See?

2010-09-19T17:43:00.000-05:00

Here's what I saw on my trip south yesterday. Yes, that's snow. There were places that had 4 inches of it on the ground. We were lucky, no snow, but 23 degrees for the overnight low. Yuck! It's not even officially fall yet.

Freeze Warning Tomorrow, End of Summer Today

2010-09-16T10:04:00.000-05:00

Buggin' out!

2010-09-08T15:28:00.000-05:00

Here is a regular visitor to my yard this fall. Along with an entire hive of bees who seem to love my agastache. But that's ok, they are actually entertaining to watch, especially when a hummingbird shows up. I had no idea they were mortal enemies!

Sah-Weet!

2010-08-20T11:09:00.000-05:00

Don't ask me why, but my sweet peas decided to wait until August to bloom this year. Regardless of when they bloom, they smell divine! This has to be my very favorite smell. Wonderful!

2010-08-18T19:12:00.000-05:00

We have had an unbelievable amount of severe weather in our area of the world this year. I've never seen anything like it. We've lived here 17 years now, and in the 16 years previous to this I have had hail at my house 5 times. This year alone it has hailed 6 times at my house. Tomorrow night they are predicting another round of severe weather for our area. I'm not sure I can take much more of the stress level that brings. Regardless, the clouds sure have been pretty around the storms!

Summer Fun!

2010-08-12T15:39:00.000-05:00

Daddy's Footsteps

2010-07-01T13:28:00.002-05:00

I told you Miss 17 would get her day in the sun. Yes, you read that right, Miss 16 has decided yet again to continue getting older, and she is now Miss 17. I don't want to think about all the songs that have been written about 17 year olds right now, so please just don't bring them up!

Miss 17, how can I explain the way you bring light to my life? How can I explain the depths of despair to which you throw my heart? You are a study in contrasts. Fortunately for all of us, there is much more light from you then there is darkness. It is for that aspect of your personality that I am eternally grateful.

Your inherent innocence about some things never fails to make me laugh, and it is so good that you are also able to laugh at your self.
I'm so grateful for the friends you have who stand by you and support you. You've become a pretty astute judge of character and only the best of people are allowed in your life. Yet, even those who have somehow wronged you are still treated with respect, for the most part. You are a good friend to those who deserve you.
You are a work-a-holic, like your father, and sitting still is not something that you tend to do very often. Life guarding, coaching, private lessons and keeping yourself ready for swim season take up nearly all of your time these days. Yes, you get overly tired and eventually have to crash; but you realize when that happens, and you are good about getting the sleep you need.
You are attempting more and more to stay close to Miss 12. It's not always easy for you, and it's not always easy for her, but trust me, when you are in your 20's, no one will be more of a support for you than your sister.
Planning for your future has become a top priority for you. Knowing where you want to go to college, and what you want to go for, are becoming forefront in your mind. I know that you will be applying for scholarships and working even harder at keeping your grades up next year. This years grades were amazing, your ability to do difficult work so well astounds me.
You are so driven. I'm not sure where that comes from, and it's an incredible quality. Never stop pushing yourself.
You have become and continue to become an inspiration to your sister. She looks up to you and I know you won't let her down. You are a strong, intelligent and compassionate young woman.
May you always, always know how very much you are loved.
Happy Birthday Miss 17.

Progress

2010-05-28T15:00:00.002-05:00

Miss 12 just graduated from 6th grade. She is our last child to go through school at this particular school, and it has been an emotional wreck of a week. (I can not get the underline turned off, forgive me.) In place of a tissue needing, tear producing, emotional wreck of a post that would match how I feel, I instead am copying a story that Miss 12 wrote last week for class. If you knew where she came from, and the work it has taken to get her to this point, you would be amazed. This story is her own. The only parameters she was given were that she had to include a monkey, a lost island, a talking cat and a fisherman. I did not correct mistakes other than to remind her to capitalize, to punctuate and to indent. There are mistakes, yes, but this story is so far beyond what I even imagined possible that just reading it makes me cry. Not because it is a sad story, but because she has come so far, and it's because of all the work the school was willing to put into her, and all the hard work we have done at home. She amazes me every day, as do my other children, but today, for me, it's about her and her progress. Miss 16 will get her day in the sun soon as well, just in case she's reading here today. I'll brag her up when she's least expecting it. In the meantime, enjoy Miss 12's original story and think of how far she has brought herself.

A Darkened Sky

Mariah’s diary day 3, week 6, year 1938, Me and Simon are below deck again because we’re going by Avalax and you don’t want to know what they would do if they found me. Here I go again talking about now and not telling how I got on a ship or how I got Simon. It all started when I was out getting flowers from the corner store. I was getting them because we were having a huge party to celebrate my sister getting married. My sister, Eliza, always seemed to be the star child to my mother. On Eliza’s thirteenth birthday she got a beautiful white and blue dress all I got for my thirteenth birthday was a cheap doll that broke within the first hour.

“Hey Mariah wait up!” Oh that’s Simon my best friend. We’d been friends since I fell out of a tree at a park; he was the only one who didn’t laugh at me. “Are you that upset about the party that you can’t even talk to your friend?”

“Hey Simon.”I said.

“I’m going to take that as you’re more upset then I think.” he said.

“No, I’m not it’s just that she always has to act like she’s the perfect child.” I said. “She always made me look like the bad guy.”

“Maybe if you came over to my place you would feel better.” he said.

“I wish I could but my mom is practically making me setup the whole party.” I said.

“Ok then I’ll see you later.” He said.

“Ok, bye Simon.”I said. As he turned and walked away his head was hung so low he looked like a solider defeated in a battle. As I turned around Mrs.Lossen’s carriage drawn by a beautiful white horse came down the road. I glanced over my shoulder to see if she was out looking for Mr. Lossen again somehow he always managed to sneak out of the house with his poker buddies without her noticing. All I saw was Simon crossing the lane. The next thing that happened went by so quick I didn’t even have time to think: Simon walking across the lane, the carriage getting too close for comfort, me dropping the flowers on the walkway and running to push him out of the way, and finally a horse along with a carriage hitting him and ending his life. The carriage hit him just before I could reach him, nearly 17inches away from my hands. I dropped to my knees and I looked him. His shirt was all stained with blood, his body spread out on the road. “Simon?” I said my voice quivering. The only answer I got back was the sound of the market. I started to cry. Not even one person stopped to help the little girl crying in the street. I looked down at him. His lifeless eyes stared up at me. Don’t cry, I thought, his life was good, great even. But I wasn’t that strong. I got up not wanting to bare the sight of him anymore. I took one more look at him and started to run away this time. Suddenly I was bombarded with memories of him. From when we meant at the old park all the way to his death. Nearly sixteen years of memory all at once.

I finally found myself out side of town in the old field Simon and I used to play in. I collapsed on to my knees and screamed up at the sky. Why take my Simon’s why not someone else? Only then did I realize I was being completely self-centered millions of people lose loved ones every day it was bound to happen to me eventually. I hugged myself and cried more than I ever had before. Finally I got up no time for self pity maybe I’ll feel better if I set up for something happier.

As soon as I stepped in the door mom gave me lecture number 34, the parties going to start soon where have you been. Then she wrapped it up with number 13, why can’t you be more like your sister. I answered calmly and softly “Simon died mom not that you would care.” “Honey your sister’s getting married we’ll worry about that later.” As soon as the party started I was being bagged on by mother “where did you put this and that and where do you think you’re going every time I tried to sneak away. I should really take lessons on that from Mr.Lossen. I thought.

Finally after I thought I couldn’t take it anymore the last guest left. I started to leave again but my mom yelled after me “Mariah Scarlet Ryan!” oh no, I thought, she’s mad she only calls me that when I’m in trouble which technically is all the time.

“Yes mother.” I yelled

“Pick up your skirts and come here.”

I walked to the front room where mother stood along with Mr. Bowvare, Simon’s dad, and also the best fisherman in the world.

“Honey Will here is going to take you up shore.” She said

“Why?”I asked questioningly.

“For goodness sake child do you remember anything that happens in a day?”She yelled “He knows you and Simon were really close so he thought that you and him would go on a trip to take your minds off his death.”

“It will be fun.” He said.

“Go pack your bag you’ll be leaving soon.” Mother said.

“But mother don’t you need help here? You don’t have sister to help you anymore.”

“You say that but you won’t really help me you’ll be way too sad.” She said.

“Can I please just stay for his funeral?”Mother looked at Mr.Bowvare as if he was my dad and she didn’t quite know what to say. He nodded his head as in a yes I didn’t know. He always nodded instead of speaking he could have been saying you look beautiful miss and you wouldn’t see the difference.

“Fine you may stay for that but as soon as it’s done you are leaving,” she said. “Do you understand?”

“Yes mother.” Now Mariah, go start cleaning up from the party. Now that was more like her.

By the time I finished cleaning up it was well past 12:30 at night. Everyone else would be asleep. I needed to talk to Mr. Bowvare about this trip he would probably be awake. Other times when I would say at Simon’s his dad would be awake past 2:00 in the morning. I wrote a note to mother saying….mom, went to talk to Mr.Bowvare I need to talk about this trip I’ll be back soon bye. I set the note on the dining room table and quietly walked out the door. Before I had left I had grabbed the old book Simon and I had made when we had first meet it had all of our secrets and memories in it from then and now, we had filled it up over the years and it was completely overflowing. I had thought that his dad at least deserved to see what his son had written about him. Up twelfth, down Sixteenth until I got to twenty second street it was normal. I was passing Mozes Café when none other than Roy Adams came out just my luck he had a record for the most times getting caught by the sheriff. The problem was that whenever he saw me he tried to steal whatever I happened to have. He started to walk toward me I got ready to smack him with the book.

“Mariah I’m sorry that I am always stealing your stuff” he said though he didn’t even look me in the eye.

“Excuse me?”I said. “What got in to you?”

“Nothing I’ve just changed” he said as he turned. Just then I had the flash back of Simon doing the same thing. I gasped.

“Oh, and by the way sorry about your friend.”

“His name was Simon.”I said sternly “thanks.”

By the time I did get to the Bowvare’s it was later than I expected. But I had to talk to him so I knocked on the door. He almost immediately he opened the door he was still fully dressed.

“Oh my aren’t you early well since you are here lets head out!”

“Mr.Bowvare I just wanted to talk to you.”

“No no dear we have to go,” he said. “Here your mother gave me your suitcase let me grab mine and we will shove off.”

Next thing I know he was practically shoving me out the door down the street and to the harbor. When we got on the ship he exclaimed “dang I forgot Simon I’ll be right back girl.”

“Um Mr. Bowvare sir.”

“Girl hasn’t your mother told you not to be rude?”

“Yes but...”

“Girl do you want a passage on this ship or not.”

“Sorry sir.”

“Ok then.” He said as he jumped over the railing on to the cobblestone path.

I waited for him to return but I must have dosed off. For one because I saw a talking cat that oddly enough was playing with Simon and singing our favorite song ‘happy days are here again’ that made me smile. And two because when I opened my eyes Capitan Bowvare, which is what I should start calling him, was standing over me with a small monkey on his shoulder. He started to laugh.

“Girl I pushed off the shore over two hours ago I thought yous was dead.”

“No sir.” I said “Not yet anyway but with the condition of this ship I’m not so sure I’ll last too long.” The smile on his face disappeared in an instant. So I started laughing.

“Anyway we will be going by Avalax soon so you should get below deck.”

“Why?”

“Is that all you can say?”

“Sorry why do I have to go below deck?”

“Better, because I don’t want the people there to think that I kidnapped you and I don’t want to pay your bail when you get put in jail for not having a passport and take Simon with you to I not suppose to have animals on the ship.” So that’s how I got here below the ship with a monkey and the journal.

“Mariah you can come up now plus you should see this.”

When I walked up the steps I was meant by the salty sea air. Captain Bowvare was standing at the bow of the ship.

“Watch closely now.” Suddenly an island appeared out of nowhere.

“Wow.” I whispered.

“The reactions of those who’ve never seen it before,” he said shaking his head.

Now we are landing on the lost island of Potea, which ironically means lost. Until I get back on the ship I can’t write so bye until then.

Give Back

2010-05-19T13:04:00.001-05:00

Please go here and comment to make a book donation to a child in need. That's all you have to do, make a comment, someone gets a book. Simple, right? No child should go without books of their own.

New Tenants

2010-05-18T10:14:00.002-05:00

12

2010-05-11T13:08:00.002-05:00

Miss 12, it's hard to fathom where the years have gone. Just yesterday she was having tantrums where I had to pick her up and carry her off to calm down, and today she is 12. Honestly I remember very few meltdowns from this year; what a change.

Miss 12, you are the light of my eye. You are an amazing young woman. I can't figure out how we got to this point in your life. I remember a lot of hard work, but what I remember the most is how suddenly you just seemed to blossom. Oh sure, there are still moments where you ignore someone who is speaking directly to you, you tuck your upper and lower lip into your mouth, bow your head and avert your eyes. If they give you a compliment you tend to ignore them, and just keep walking. But if they tease you- look out! You have become the master of teasing, and you know just what to pick on with people who understand you. You have a keen wit, and a sharp, quick mind that floors those who think you are just a shy, quiet girl. Your sense of humor has sent me into fits of giggles on many occasions this year.

I can't imagine how it must baffles your early grade school teacher when they see the books you are reading now. The librarian is completely astounded with the books you finish in a week. (Not the books from her library, as really those are at this point much too easy for you.) We are so proud of you. Though you struggle with spelling, your reading aptitude is incredible. Though multiplication facts are still beyond you, your capability for problem solving, in the most unusual ways, is amazing. To see you volunteer to be the song leader at mass after so may years of you being so shy makes all the adults (and your parents!) at your school beam with pride.

Your athletic ability, even in sports you don't typically play, is awesome. Watching you take on the boys from your class, and challenge them outright, and win, makes my chest want to burst with pride. Although I would never tell you- I wouldn't want you to get a big head! It won't be long before those boys will decide not to take you up on those challenges, because they know they will lose, but right now they still think that since they are boys, they will win. I love the grin on your face when you prove them wrong.

Making friends with more of your classmates, putting yourself out there by attending dances and activities you have never done before, calling people on the phone just to talk, asking adults questions of your own accord, ordering at restaurants, becoming Secretary of the Student Counsel and giving the speech to do that, these were all new and big steps in your life this year.

Next year is middle school, you keep telling me how nervous you are, and that you don't want to go. But I think it's just a front, I think you are very anxious to go to a new school, with more friendship opportunities. My wish for you as you turn 12 is that you continue to put yourself out there, because the rewards, as you have discovered this year, are great, and you are more than capable.

I love you Miss 12, please never stop challenging yourself!

Whee!

2010-04-28T13:09:00.003-05:00

Have you gotten the addiction yet? Polyvore I mean? It's really fun, you can create sets that highlight nearly anything you would like. I did this one in just a couple of minutes. It's a fun way to waste time when your Hubby is staying out late seeding. Lots more fun then, say, washing floors or doing anything else productive after 9:30 p.m.

So Done!

2010-04-26T13:08:00.002-05:00

I am happy to report that the physical, draining, exhausting part of planning and producing the After Prom Party (APP) is finally, wonderfully and definitely over!

I have to give the experience a solid A-. It was challenging to say the least. When we first started we were given a giant binder, it had everything from previous years in it, and things looked simple and in order. Brilliant. After we were able to procure a group of people to be on the committee with us, we planned our first meeting. My Co-Chair and I made a few phone calls before the meeting in order to get the ball rolling and make sure we could secure the locations we needed.

All was not to start out well for us. The locations used in the past, aside from one, were not going to be available to us any longer. Mostly this was due to the fact that the businesses were for sale or closing. So at our first meeting we debated options on where to hold our shindig. This turned out to be not an easy task at all. Fortunately the bowling alley, who has always been very generous, was already willing to help out. Since they have done this before, it was one less stress for our committee.

After throwing around a lot of ideas and getting shot down for many, many different things we were finally able to get the local college to agree to let us use their old gymnasium and student lounge area. What a relief, now we just had to decide what to do there for 3.5 hours in the middle of the night.

Coming up with ideas was easy, seeing them be possible was an entirely different animal. Here are just a few of the things we looked into and were unable to do:

dunk tank
blow up obstacle course
hypnotist
climbing wall
laser hunt video games
photo booths
magician
paint ball wars
miniature golf
blow up games in general

Finally we decided to attempt Minute To Win It games. Although we did not use exactly their ideas, we did imitate a few, modified to the format that would work for teens and having successful winners of each round. We added dodge ball games, scooter races, Nerf Gun Tag war, ping pong tables, trike races and some Fear Factor style eating contests. (minus the GROSS... they were all based on candy, pudding, gum and whipped cream. Plus one that involved Alka Seltzer and club soda. )

Then we had the idea that the winners should have some sort of prize for their endeavors. Here is where our local business owners really shine. My Co Chair and I would go into a business to buy gift cards, or small coupons, we would say, "If we buy X amount of this, could you possibly donate a few?" Typically the owner would donate the matching amount, or not make us a pay for a thing. Local business owners rock! We had incredible donations and we barely paid for a thing. Here's a partial list:

44 t-shirts
1 hour limo service
a summer long golf pass
a month long health club membership
a CZ necklace
a mani/pedi pampering basket
2 senior portrait photography sessions plus 100 dollars worth of photos
3 sweatshirts
100 dollar gift card
many meal certificates for fast food restaurants
packages of golf balls
blankets from the college
lanyards

This list would go on for so long. Living in a small town, where the business owners know our kids, know us and love their community is amazing. Not only did they donate all these prizes, and many that I have missed, they also donated cash to fund this non profit party. We solicit local businesses and they make whatever donation they see fit. Typically we have a budget after donations of about $3,000. This money helps pay for the location rentals, food, supplies, etc.

The day of the APP was reserved for set up. The bad news being that only 3 of us showed up to help. We had 2 sessions for setting up, fortunately I brought Miss 11 along to help. Without her I'm sure we could not have had everything ready to go by 12:00 a.m. She was invaluable. We unpacked vehicles and set up the gym, the lounge, hallways, and food areas at the college. The bowling alley owners are so used to having this party there that they had everything ready to go for us, we just brought the food, chaperone's and registration tables and it was ready to go.

The prom go-ers had a great time at both places. The dodge ball game, ping pong table and Nerf wars were the biggest successes of the night. We also were lucky enough that the college allowed us to use their t-shirt gun for t-shirt giveaways. That was a big success as well.

Although we only had 60% of prom attendees come to the APP. We feel it was a success. We found out part way through the APP that the parents of one of the seniors decided to have a pool party for some of the senior class. Typically we have 150 or so couples attend prom, and at least 40 of them were invited to this pool party. At least we know that between our APP and their pool party, we were able to keep our prom go-ers safe. The night did not end in a tragedy, and even with only 60% of couples attending our APP that's a lot of children we were able to show that alcohol is not the only way to have fun with your friends.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere There's Signs

2010-04-21T13:06:00.000-05:00

Signs of Spring! My favorite time of year: when this blasted winter weather gets scoured out and we move on into a warmer, sunnier and more enjoyable time of the year. The photos above are just a tiny portion of what I see going on around my yard and house. I could have added pictures of street cleaners getting rid of the winter grime, the various yard crews cleaning up people's yards, kids wearing shorts and riding bikes, adults walking in the evenings in just a sweatshirt instead of a winter coat, the grasses greening and if I could have included all the bird songs I now get to hear, then you would really see how spring is finally coming to our neck of the woods.

Too Busy

2010-04-14T13:56:00.003-05:00

We first move to our small town in 1993, the year Miss 16 was born. We moved when she was about two weeks old. Our town was about 13,000 people then. We had a KMart, a Pamida, a Wal-mart, 3 grocery stores, a small butcher shop/grocery store, several restaurants, a couple of great pizza places, and some fun downtown gift shops.
We loved that we felt safe here, that lines were never long, you could get into appointments you needed with ease, if you needed a repair from someone you didn't wait weeks, housing prices were at the low end of the spectrum and we felt comfortable with the general ease of life here.

In recent years as the price of oil has risen our small town feel has changed significantly. We now have a Wal-mart Super Center and two grocery stores, one of which is a chain that needs serious updating, the other claims to be "locally" owned but the owner lives 3.5 hours away in another city. We don't have any pizza places other than chains, we lost a few restaurants instead of gaining any, we lost a couple of great gift shops, and KMart and Pamida both pulled out. Thanks Wal-mart, for losing the life in our community.

While I realize it is not just Wal-mart creating these problems, it doesn't make me hate shopping there any less, and realizing I have few affordable options doesn't make me feel less torn about having to shop there. Standing in line 6 deep when there are only 3 of the 28 check outs open doesn't make me like their store. Because of where we live, typically the people at the check out stands are friendly and try hard to hurry and be kind to their customers. I realize not all people have that degree of "niceness" in their Wal-mart. But I still don't like it.

I miss when I felt safe with my kids biking off by themselves; now we hear reports of cars stopping and offering kids rides, or worse, telling the child that they were sent by their father to get them.

I miss the lack of traffic on our busier streets, and the quiet times of night when there was relatively no traffic. Now our streets are busy all the time and the noise of young guys with too much money spent on incredibly loud mufflers is so annoying.

I know that life in a bigger city is fraught with a lot more trouble then we have, but I didn't choose to live in a bigger city. I chose to live in a small town.

The oil boom we are experiencing has brought little to our personal lives. It brings in tax revenue, yes, but it hasn't brought any benefit to the person who has lived here for years. It fills up our hotel rooms, raises the prices on supplies and blows up our house values to unrealistic dollar amounts. The local political establishment keeps talking of the great thing that is happening here. But we, as the average joe, are still waiting for the great part.

Fabulous Fajitas

2010-03-25T11:35:00.015-06:00

An easy meal, and if the kids don't like it, just make them cheese quesadillas, no added fuss for you, but lots of extra goodness for you. We love these left over as well, and the toppings are great on a salad the next day.

Mama Bear's Fajitas

Marinade (MoJo):

1orange, juiced
2 limes, juiced
4 Tbsp. Olive Oil
2 garlic cloves, roughly chopped
3 chipolte chiles in adobo sauce, chopped
3 Tbsp. roughly chopped cilantro leaves
1 tsp. cumin
1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/2 pounds top sirloin

The Rest of the Yummy:
2 peppers sliced, I use any color combo except for green
1 large purple onion sliced
lime juice, optional
12 flour tortillas
home made salsa
guacamole, optional

Combine all marinade ingredients, puree until smooth with an immersion blender if you would like. Place steaks in a large plastic bag, add marinade and slosh around until steaks are covered. Set in the refrigerator for 4 to 6 hours. Any longer and the steak might get overly mushy.
Heat grill pan or George Foreman grill after lightly covering with olive oil. Cook steaks until desired done-ness is achieved. For my kids, that means "there had better not be even one dash of pink showing!" Remove from grill and set aside.

Heat olive oil in frying pan and saute peppers and onion until crisp tender. Personally I like mine a little more charred, but to each his own.

Slice steaks into strips, add to pepper and onions just until heated again.

Warm tortillas in a damp towel in the microwave until floppy. My microwave takes about 1 minute.

Serve with guacamole, sour cream, salsa, and a squirt of fresh lime juice!

Enjoy!

In The Middle

2010-03-05T10:10:00.003-06:00

Next year my youngest daughter heads to middle school. I'm already nervous. It's not that I'm worried about her getting lost, or forgetting her locker combination, or not making friends. I'm worried that the choices I have to make for her now, this month, will be the wrong choices for her when September rolls around.

Miss 11, as I have written about previously, has a few learning disabilities, along with ADD/anxiety. Since third grade she has been on an IEP. She sees a teacher who helps her with specific subjects for 30 minutes, 3 times a week. This does not mean that she is not incredibly intelligent. She has a great IQ score and reads at a 10th grade 6th month reading level, that's 4 grades above her current grade. She regularly gets straight A's in Science and Social Studies. Her English and Reading grades are awesome, and rarely do I have to help with either of those subjects anymore. We study together for tests, but daily work is typically completed in school, and done perfectly.

If you move on to Math and Spelling, you encounter a completely different child. Shockingly these two subjects are very related. I have heard several of Miss 11's LD teachers discuss how it is very common for a student who doesn't excel in Math, to struggle with spelling as well. This is not the case for my oldest daughter who can spell most anything, but struggles like crazy with math, so I know that generalization is not always the case. Miss 11 has a written expression Learning Disability. This doesn't mean that she can't write a brilliantly thought out essay or story. Her plots are deep and well planned; her paragraphs are thorough and well researched. It does mean that if she has actually physically written the paragraph by hand, you might not be able to figure out the words she wrote. The spelling of words and the physical production of the words may be a complete mystery. She knows what it says but at times I can't even figure it out.
She can not remember how to spell words that she had last week (and aced!) on a spelling test. She doesn't retain that information in her head. She can read the word, but not spell it back to you.

This carries over to math. She can tell you exactly how to do a math problem, but she can't remember her math facts. Memorizing multiplication tables is nearly impossible; but she knows exactly how to figure out 9X7. While her classmates know it off the top of their head, she has to figure each one out, typically add 9 seven times in her head or using her fingers. Imagine how long a 6th grade math problem takes if you have to do that every time you multiply. Currently they are doing Algebraic fractional equations. Her mistakes don't come in any of the hard part, it comes when she multiplies 6X8 and gets 42 instead of the correct answer.
Last week she had a math test. She got a 70% which is a D- at her school. Was I angry with her? No, I was angry that getting 9 wrong was a 70%, but proud that she only got 9 wrong and that it wasn't for lack of knowing how to do the problem, she did each one correctly, it was because of multiplication facts early in the problem that continued and gave her the wrong answer in the end. Next year, they get to use calculators. I hope and pray this will be just break she needs to gain her confidence back in math.

After all that background, here is my dilemma. We are currently signing up for classes at the middle school. There are not a lot of options for electives if you are in band. Miss 11 is in band, it's important to try band now because you can't pick it up later and expect to have much success. There are even fewer options if you are in band AND on an IEP. in fact, there is only 1 option: band and resource are the only electives you can choose.

Does she need the extra help? Yes, right now she does. But, once they are using calculators, and typing more papers on the computer, spelling and math become much less of an issue. We are just waiting for that wire to fuse in her brain, the one that we know will some day, the one that finally joins the rest of the wiring, and the switch clicks on, and BOOM- suddenly it's just not a big struggle anymore. Will it be soon? Will it fuse in college? Since we can't predict the timing, we can't predict what she needs from year to year.

Yes, I can sign her up for resource now and just see what happens. But the problem then is that all the other classes fill up, and she's stuck there, even if she doesn't need it in the future, because all the other electives are full.

Add to that problem the fact that one of the current resource room teachers at the middle school is someone that Miss 11 had years ago. They did not get along well, due to no fault of Miss 11. (Our principal actually requested that this teacher not come back to our elementary school the following year. The people who assign LD teachers agreed with him, and she was not allowed back.)

Will the students who are not in resource now be labeling Miss 11 in some way? Will it become a social stigma? It certainly is not a problem where she is now. The other students in her class don't think twice about it. But middle school is a whole new ballgame. She will be in a class of nearly 200 instead of a class of 16. Will she miss out on the socializing part because she will miss out on all the "fun" electives she could be choosing from?

What we decide now, may be a decision that affects her drastically in the coming school year. How do we know what is right? And what is best.

GE I Have Your Number!

2010-03-04T11:23:00.003-06:00

I'm still being nice, I've had it up to HERE, but I'm still being nice. However, GE, should you not come around to my way of thinking in the next 2 weeks, I will no longer be nice! I will pepper the Internet with exactly what I think of you!

It's been about a year. I got a new stove! Not just any stove, I spent the extra money and got a glass top, convection oven, self cleaning, 3 racks (that can be left in the oven when it gets cleaned!) stove. I tried it, convection didn't seem any faster, it didn't add any more browning, it didn't do what it said it would do. So, I called my local dealer and the repair guy came, checked it over and agreed. It's not doing what it's supposed to do. He tinkered. It still didn't work. I took pictures of the finished products that I had baked in the oven. Brown in the front, uncooked in the back, really not pretty. The repair guy came back and replaced the whole computer board in the oven, but it was June or so, and throughout the summer I seldom use the oven, so I really didn't concern myself or pay attention.

Roll on to September and lo and behold, my beloved convection oven doesn't seem to be doing what it is supposed to do. The repair guy comes again, agrees with me, tinkers. We try again for a week or so, it still doesn't work. I call my local store where I purchased my GE stove. They agree this is a problem and call GE. GE says replace the computer board again. So they do. IT STILL DOESN'T WORK.

It's nearly Christmas, I am baking like crazy, I am having a meal more than once for 13 or so people. One night I make home made pizza's. Not thick pizza, just regular pizza. It took over 45 minutes to bake them, and the center crust IS STILL NOT DONE. I lost it, I threw a good old fashioned tantrum, I cried, and stomped and got really mad. This is not a cheap stove our local repair guy and store has been great, but my expensive stove is still not working!

Hubby calls the local store, and they so kindly agree it is a problem. Their solution, knowing I have big meals to prepare in the Christmas season, is to come and get the stove, and give me a loaner until GE finally agrees to do something. Because I need a stove, one that WORKS! That was in December. I still have the loaner stove. Our local dealer can get no response from GE. Their customer service has left him on hold for lengthy, lengthy periods of time. This is a business owner who doesn't have time to be sitting on hold.

Today we personally called GE at a request from our local dealer who is getting no response from them. GE asks for the repair guy to fax over all the repair records. I am quite sure this has already been done, but we call and ask the local shop to do it again.

GE I have your number, and at this point, I have no intention of buying another GE product for my home. Not only am I asking just to have my stove replaced, I am actually going one step up on the stove and willing to spend more money on the next one. You have 2 weeks. That's it. Either this problem gets resolved then, or I'm headed to the local Sears store.

Forehead Stamp: SUCKER!

2010-02-24T10:50:00.003-06:00

A friend called late last night. Not just any friend, but a friend who always calls when she needs me to volunteer to do something. Typically it is at the elementary school where our kids are in the same classroom. Currently we are working on the end of the year things for the 6th grade class: yearbooks, limo renting and t-shirts. It's not difficult, just little things to organize. So, when she called I expected to be discussing the details of an email I had just sent to the parents of the 6th grade class.

I was in bed already, reading, so maybe I was in an extremely vulnerable, my-brain-is-not-working-properly state when I agreed. She starts out asking innocently if my March and April are already booked up, and I politely told her, "It depends on what you want me to do!" She doesn't ask me to take over projects from her, usually it's more along the lines of "can you help me with..." projects. Our 11th graders are also in the same class, went to elementary school together, and are still good friends. We have been working on projects together since they were in Kindergarten. This one though, this one takes the cake.

We have now agreed to co-chair the After Prom Party. Dear God, what have I gotten myself into now??

Ideas can be sent to me through the comments if you have a brilliant suggestion. DO NOT tell me about what you did after prom, I have enough of those memories of my own, and I don't want to hear about what awaits my daughter. My son has already gone to prom, and I try hard not to think about it!

Send Vodka!

2010-02-19T09:21:00.002-06:00

One of my Facebook updates a few weeks ago caused a stir. I commented that I was making pasta with Vodka sauce, and within moments I had a box full of emails asking for the recipe. I intended to get it sent out ages ago, but then life intervened, and I got lazy, and I hate typing recipes when I don't even have a decent picture of the meal to go with it. Since I didn't bother to take a picture when I made it, or when I was eating it, I'll have to post without one. The recipe is super simple, and super delicious.

Vodka Tomato Sauce for Pasta

1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon butter

In a large skillet over medium heat combine olive oil and butter until butter is melted. Add onions and saute until onions begin to turn translucent. Add chopped garlic and cook 1 minute more, do not let garlic brown.

1/2 to 3/4 cup vodka
1 can tomato puree (I try to use Muir Glen because it is sweet)
3/4 cup heavy cream
salt to taste
fresh ground pepper

Add vodka to onion mixture and cook 30 seconds or so. Stir in tomato puree. Cook another 3 minutes or until heated. Carefully and gradually stir in heavy cream, add salt and pepper to taste. Simmer, but don't let boil uncontrollably.

I sometimes stir in about 1/2 to 1 cup Parmesan cheese at this point, or I serve the Parmesan cheese on top of the pasta and sauce.

This sauce is wonderful served over most any pasta. It is divine on cheese raviolis. (Especially during Lent!) My kids love to dip garlic toast or french bread in it as well.

I have frozen any extra and it reheats beautifully. You can stir all the pasta into the sauce and serve it that way as well. Whatever floats your boat.
Enjoy!

Frosty Friday

2010-02-12T11:49:00.001-06:00

Change the Movie!

2010-02-03T13:52:00.004-06:00

I want this scene to no longer be playing when I look out my back door! I want the movie to be something much more appealing. Like this for example, let's go back to this again!

Cold!

2010-01-29T14:10:00.000-06:00

It's been cold here the past week, much too cold for my taste. These are pictures of the inside of my front screen door. It stays like this all day long with temps like this. It's beautiful to look at in it's own way, but personally I'd much rather see the pots of flowers I normally have on the front porch.

My Part

2010-01-21T16:12:00.002-06:00

I would here-to-fore like it to be known that I have done my part. I have talked to the proper people, I have notated what needs to be notated, I have discussed with the person the changes I think need to be made and I have emailed for the information that needed to be shared. I put the matter into the hands of those who need to know and I waited.

Guess what got done. Nada! Zip! Zero! Why? Because apparently this particular "important board that runs the thing" does not have the authority to bring up the discussion of personnel issues. Sigh.

Back story being this: I/We have an issue with someone who is in charge of teaching/coaching/improving Miss 11 in a certain regard. It is not being done properly, and has not been done properly in over 8 months. 8 months behind is very, very far behind.

I stepped up and talked to those who needed to know. I did a bit of research and gave information that needed to be given. I am sorely disappointed with the action that is being taken. What action? Well, a talking to along with, "yes, well, get back on track now." And that's it. Meanwhile there is an entire group of kids who are going to be way behind their peers.

Because Miss 11's situation will change in 5 months I am not going to push any farther. I fear things would get worse for her individually if I decided to open my big mouth even more. But, I fear that the children who will not be out of this situation in 5 months will fall farther and farther behind, and in another few years, that's a long way to try and catch up.

Timed Test

2010-01-14T10:59:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago I got caught by a meme that wanted me to post my daily schedule and what I did typically hour by hour during a day. Since it was the holiday season I thought I'd better wait until more of a regular type day came around. The days that surround the holidays are crazy strange schedules around here. Instead I chose yesterday and what a typical day for me is like when I sub.

6:00a.m.- I'm up and getting ready for work, by this time I'm dressed and probably toweling off my wet hair. I finish my face up, make sure the girls are up, blow dry my hair and pick all my things up from the bathroom, grab my purse and work bag from the bedroom and head to the kitchen where I start eating breakfast.

7:00a.m.- Miss 11 gets up and wanders to the kitchen to eat her breakfast that Hubby has lovingly prepared. We sit at the table together, but mostly I know better than to speak to her. I finish up my coffee, pack my lunch bag, fill my water bottle and set all my things by the front door to head out. I do Miss 11's hair for the day. I hug Miss 16 and wave goodbye to her at the window. I encourage Miss 11 to get her coat on and get moving, I've got to get to work. We leave the house by 7:30 and arrive at the school. I check in at the office, and head to my classroom, unpack my things and find the folder with today's schedule on it. I begin recording grades in the grade book.

8:00a.m.-A school board member stops in for a scheduled meeting with me regarding things to be discussed at an upcoming board meeting. I take off my teacher hat and put on my parent hat to discuss certain subjects. The bell rings at 8:15 and I head to my classroom to take attendance, do prayers, pledge and discuss today's schedule. I send the class off to music for 30 minutes while I finish recording grades and correcting homework that has come in. Oh no, better make a run for the bathroom before they get back. Oh look, there is water all over the floor in the hall, stop at janitors office for rags and clean up floor, drop rags back off at janitors office and finally get to the bathroom. (the last time I get a chance to go until the day is done...)

9:00 a.m.- Give spelling test, teach English lesson, give spelling worksheets, correct English and spelling tests and worksheets, send part of class to band, work on computers with the rest of the class, record grades, begin teaching reading lesson, hand out reading papers, English papers, yesterday's spelling papers, etc.

10:00 a.m.-Discuss yesterday's math papers and why they are getting them back: Half credit if mistakes are corrected; give lesson on checking your work for silly mistakes and following directions. Teach math lesson, give math assignment. Class gets asked to help unload a truck of World's Finest Chocolate that we will be selling as a fund raiser. Help organize boxes, make students all wash hands as the boxes were filthy! Deliver treats given out for helping with the truck.

11:00 a.m.- Study Hall: help with all previous assignments given today, correct papers that have been turned in already. Record and hand back papers. Help students in computer lab on assignments given by regular classroom teacher. Have class wash for lunch, say prayer, bring class to lunchroom. Wash my hands and return to classroom where I eat lunch while correcting more papers and recording.

12:00 p.m.- When students return begin Social Studies lesson on Zimbabwe, the gold trade and walled cities. Discuss today's math lesson AGAIN, hand papers that were turned in back. Explain that I am going to pretend I never saw these papers, they can correct mistakes for full credit. Teach Science lesson: acceleration, speed, velocity, etc. Hand out worksheets; help with worksheets.

1:00 p.m.-Study hall, help with all remaining work to avoid homework for the night. Begin Religion lesson, help in computer lab.

2:00 p.m.- Finish Religion lesson, clean up room and prepare for going home. Take kids to gym for PE class. Stop in office and pick up things from mailbox; deliver envelopes to correct classrooms. Finish correcting and recording grades, hand out papers to be taken home. Write notes to teacher regarding what I have finished, where/how I graded and recorded. Students return to classroom, load up backpacks, check hallway to be sure it is left neat, make sure classroom is picked up, prayers and dismissal.

3:00 p.m.- Load up my things, meet Miss 11 and friend in the parking lot. Wait for Miss 11's second cousin who we will drive to the pool for swim practice. Miss 11 gets to skip today. Wait at pool for someone to arrive and unlock door. Bring Miss 11 and friend home, feed them snacks, check emails, throw in a load of laundry, clean up kitchen. Have a snack and soda.

4:00 p.m.- Hang a load of laundry, begin making supper, set the table, wash fruit, wander house and pick up random objects and return them to where they belong. Fold a load of laundry. Load Miss 11 and friend in car after having them pick up. Drop off Miss 11's friend, stop at library and help Miss 11 find books she's been wanting.

5:00 p.m.- Finish preparing supper and put in the oven. Stir together coleslaw, clean fruit. Fold more laundry, throw another load in washing machine. Pack Miss 11's swim bag for tomorrow, pick up wet swim towels and deliver to laundry room.

6:00 p.m.-More laundry folding. Hubby and Miss 16 arrive home, final supper prep and set food out. Dish up plates for girls and call them to wash for supper. Eat together as a family. Discuss various daily activities. Get eye rolls from both girls for one comment or another. Begin cleaning supper dishes. Help Miss 11 with spelling words. Convince Miss 11 to get in the shower.

7:00 p.m.- Finish cleaning up kitchen, send Miss 16 out the door for CCD. Sit down with Miss 11 to play Wii game. Giggle and laugh together while we realize we aren't very good at this Wii game.

8:00 p.m. Hubby brings Miss 11 snack, remind her to eat, eat, eat. Convince Miss 11 to come upstairs, have her yogurt, brush her teeth, pick her clothes, get into bed. Write bills, put away folded laundry, pick clothes for tomorrow, empty dishwasher. Take phone call regarding swim-a-thon next week.

9:00 p.m. Tuck Miss 11, make sure backpack is ready for tomorrow. Say goodnight to Miss 16, take a shower, check emails, email contacts needing responses. Read paper in bed.

10:00 p.m. Read beginning of new book from the library, decide I won't be finishing it. Discuss day with Hubby, turn off light, fall asleep instantly, Hubby decides to ask a question and wakes me up. Fall back to sleep...

The meme went on until 1 a.m., but my day ended here. So I'm not going to bother writing sleep for every hour after 10 p.m., or writing what time I got up to the bathroom, or was awoken by some random noise.

and Then There Was None

2010-01-04T16:32:00.002-06:00

It took nearly all of yesterday, but I was finally able to get all the Christmas decorations (save for the ones I've decided to donate) down and put away in the basement. Hubby followed behind me with a vacuum to pick up all the plastic pine needles, strings, broken remnants and strange food pieces that followed in my wake.

Normally it feels great to take all that stuff down, and it did feel good, but the girls Christmas break felt so incredibly short this year that it's a bit disappointing. I felt like we missed out on our usual time to just hang out and do nothing.

We had a busy and very fun Christmas eve and Christmas Day with all my family able to join us at different points along the way. The niece and nephew in the 2 year old crowd made every moment interesting. My kids tried their hardest to keep them from fighting but they still managed to have mini battles anyway. I mostly just giggled, even though I shouldn't have. It was funny to see them gnashing their teeth at each other.

Miss 16 had a friend staying with us for several days around New Year's and Mr 20 was off with a group of friends skiing in Big Sky, MT. Miss 11 and I did manage some epic battling on the Wii though. Lego Star Wars provided us with lots of laughter, mostly at me as I'm not the most adept at those sort of games. I'm much better with the physical games then the ones that require little finger movements and strange combinations of button pushing.

Hubby stayed home for 2 four day weekends, and was a huge help when we had guests here for meals. He's great to help clean up my dishes as I cook or sweep up messes that I spill. He was also excellent with the 2 year olds taking them to play while the rest of us cleaned up after meals. They both loved his attention.

Even with all the good times we had, I feel like we missed out on those times where we sat around, watched a movie of just hung out and played a game. I imagine as the kids age even more they will become fewer and farther between.

Study Hall

2009-12-29T11:48:00.000-06:00

It's "Shoeville" once again. Right before Christmas break Miss 16 had a large group study session for an AP History midterm. They all crammed into her bedroom and crammed. Fortunately the kids in an AP History class also are the kids who want to study. I hear the test was very difficult. But I'm sure they all did well. Still, look at all those shoes... and the smell! Ew!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T09:22:00.000-06:00

It's only about 2-3 inches high. The faces are very primitive. It's hand carved, from Jeruselam. Merry Christmas, everyone! May your holidays be filled with all the joy your heart can handle.

Wrap It Up

2009-12-23T11:32:00.000-06:00

About the first week of December I set up our big table in the basement as a wrap station. That way when I get a chance I can run down and get a few gifts wrapped at a time. I set out all the essentials: wrapping paper, gift bags, tissue paper, tape, labels, scissors, extra boxes, packing material, etc. It works well for me, but ineveitably it is still set up the day before Christmas because 3 weeks IS NOT enough time for my husband and son to get their gifts wrapped. Yup, Mr 20 is still wrapping today, and he's only doing it now because I said I'm taking the wrap station down this afternoon. Otherwise, since he got home at 2:30 a.m., he'd still be sound asleep in bed. Nothing like a little motivation.

Baubles

2009-12-22T13:08:00.000-06:00

Too Big

2009-12-21T11:20:00.000-06:00

She's grown so. Miss 11, the last one Hubby had to lift up to put the angel on the tree. The past few years, the older two were almost always away from the house when it was Angel time. Miss 11 got to do the honors for many years in a row, the lucky girl. Last year we laughed as Hubby tried hard and begged me to hurry with the camera while he held her up to the tree. This year we all knew there was no way he could hold her up for Angel duty. She's grown several inches and is over a hundred pounds of solid muscle. Putting her in his arms and holding her up and out over the tree was something his back would not appreciate. Goodness but was she proud to step up on a chair and do it herself. Hubby and I hid our tears.

Tweet!

2009-12-18T16:41:00.000-06:00

Out my kitchen window I have a couple of bird feeders and a bird bath with a small heater in it. It's so cold here in the winter that typically all I see is snow, and blowing snow, and the smoke from people's chimney's. Also near my kitchen window is my sink, I spend a lot of time doing dishes at the sink. I needed something to look at, thus the bird feeders. The birds give me a piece of life to look at while I let my hands turn into prunes. We've had all kinds of birds at our feeders, spring and fall provide a glimpse of very unsual birds stopping by while they are migrating.

Five years ago one of Hallmark's new ornaments was a bird, and each year a new one has been released. The quality is wonderful on these ornaments. They are a heavy weight and painted really well. I ask for the bird ornament every year for my birthday and since typically the ornaments at Hallmark are out by July, a September birthday works well. Plus, it gives someone a really easy birthday gift idea.

Excuse the bad photo skills in this collage as I needed to take these pictures against the window in the daylight, and the camera really didn't want to behave. I love the uniqueness of these particular ornaments. They hang right over my kitchen sink where I can see them (everyone all together now) as I do the dishes.

Do You See What I See?

2009-12-17T13:12:00.000-06:00

This tree sits in my bay window in my bedroom. I love seeing Christmas trees in people's front windows, unfortunately if I put our full sized tree in front of our north facing window, it looks as though we are living in Alaska and not seeing the light of day for months at a time. Instead I have had to settle for putting this one in the bedroom. Last year I had red lights on it, it looked fantastic with red lights. This year we changed our outdoor lighting scheme, so when I put the red lights on, it just didn't work any more. Darn it! But the white lights still lookd good. The frosted twigs around it show nicely through the window as well, it's a very wintery scene. I've got red and silver ornaments on the tree and another strand of lights in the red bowl beside the tree. It's not perfect, but it is romantic.

Kitty Kitty

2009-12-16T12:58:00.000-06:00

I don't collect Santa's, although I have ended up with several of them as decorations. Usually they are somehow related to something else I like, and it's not actually the Santa part that lured me in.
This decoration is not something I purchased. My MIL gave it to me. I think, now don't hold me to this but I'd say the likelihood is high, that my MIL actually purchased this on clearance, after Christmas, to give to her daughter who does collect paper mache Santa's just like this one. I'd have to say that when she gave it to her daughter, she already had it, so it was re-gifted to me. Naturally it had the price tag still on it because every gift my MIL buys has been on sale or clearance and she always makes sure only the real price tag is left on it.
True Story: One year Hubby got a Montana Silver ladies belt buckle on it from his Mom for Christmas? Why? Because it had an N on it, you know, because his middle name starts with N. It might be collectible some day.Yes, the price tag, before the clearance sale, was still on it. End of Story.
So this Santa came to live at my house. At first I was tempted to just leave him in the box marked, "Gifts from insert MIL's name here." Yes, we actually have a box like that, typically after any holiday at least 2 o3 of us have something really strange to add to that box. Someday we'll look back through the things in the box and laugh hysterically. Right now we just look at the things we put in the box and say, "what in the world was she thinking?" But I knew that Miss 11 who was quite young at the time would love the kitty part, so I put it at a level where she could see it easily. My brother-in-law was walking by one day with Miss 11 and said, "Oh, look, Santa's fishing for kittens!" and it just cracked me up! Now whenever I see it I think of him, so it goes out every year so I can say the same thing and my girls can roll their eyes at me.

Man-Made Snow(man)

2009-12-15T12:55:00.000-06:00

Hubby made this one. A few years back his sister gave it to him as a gift. It's something he had made for her when he was a kid, and she thought he would enjoy having it back. I can't recall what type of nail/thread project this is called, but that is how this was created. Hubby thought it was kind of a corny gift, but I love displaying it, not many people have one of these!

In The Name of Equality!

2009-12-14T14:29:00.000-06:00

My Grandmother on my Mom's side made stockings for all the kids. This is Mr 20's stocking. It is a little different then the ones that belong to the girls, but the premise is the same. The background colors are all different and the images are all mixed up on each stocking. The kids have their name and year they were born at top of their stockings. They are made out of felt, sequins, thread and love. I'm terrified to actually use them for stockings because I'm afraid the sequins will fall off. Instead we put their stockings on their bedroom doors. (We have other stockings that Santa fills naturally!) The kids are very lucky as in recent years my Grandmother's arthiritis has really limited her ability to do many things of this nature. They are always a conversation starter when people see them because they are very unique.

POP!

2009-12-13T13:36:00.000-06:00

I love Christmas books. LOVE them. As much as I love Christmas books I love pop-up books with as much detail as Robert Sabuda's. The are stunning. I have three of his Christmas books. Look at the detail in the pop ups. In the picture on the left the lights on the house actually light up. The cave above the fox has icicles hanging from it on the picture on the right. They are all beautiful books. I've given them as gifts to friends and family and I don't know anyone who doesn't love them.

Papa Joe

2009-12-12T10:19:00.000-06:00

I used to collect teddy bears. Don't ask me why. I was young, and apparently strange. Anway, shortly after Hubby and I got married I found the pattern for this bear in a magazine. I thought he was completely adorable and my Mom helped me to make him. She did some of the sewing on the machine, and taught me a few things so I could do some of it. We picked out the fabric together and stuffed the little pieces together. I sewed the ears on myself, you can see the lovely job I did with the stitching. (Ahem, fortunately I have improved considerably in this talent.)
I can't remember the story of how my Papa Joe's (my grandfather) bow tie came to live on my bear, but I'm so glad that it did. Papa Joe Bear sits under out tree until there are too many gifts for him to fit there anymore, then he moves to a chair to watch all the Christmas festivities.

It Takes A Village

2009-12-11T12:49:00.000-06:00

I've got a Christmas village, well, sort of. I am not a big fan of those ceramic all encompassing things that so many people have. My village is of a larger size as far as individual pieces, but I've got only 3 buildings, and some accessories. I'd take more, but it's one of those rare things that no one can seem to find. It's by Kurt S. Adler, and for the past 7 years or so i can't find anything to go with it. The buildings are all capable of having lights, but normally I'm incapable of finding a place to set them where they can all be plugged in. For a few years I had to put it up high enough that Miss 11 couldn't constantly be messing with it. This year it is back out, and the girls were excited. I love it for the little details each piece has, and the quirkyness that isn't typical of Christmas decorations. I enjoy the non-jarring color scheme as well. My girls like moving the pieces around to new places. Hubby won't touch it with a 10 foot pole though, because... OMG it's full of GLITTER!! (Say it like the characters in Roger Rabit say DIP!))

What Is Wuv?

2009-12-10T09:46:00.000-06:00

The picture quality here is lacking, and I could take the effort to run down the stairs, take another photo, get it in the computer and edited, and then re-do this post. But, I won't because I am lazy and I have a million things on my plate today. This is technically an ornament, though I have never hung it on the tree. I have about 10 of these, some are shaped like hearts, some like houses, some like stars. Some are with a black background and some are with a white background. They remind me of Scandanavian decorations, and I love the embroidery on them all. This year this ornament is extra special.
Last week our cat, Decker, died from liver failure. We knew it was coming and had done all we can to make his last months enjoyable. When he refused to eat cat food anymore we fed him meat or cheese. When he started refusing those things we held each piece to his mouth for him to eat from our hand. When he started refusing them, I shared our steak with him, and cooked bacon for him, and fried eggs for him. The girls took any chance they could to have him on their laps, or snuggle with him in their beds. (He was no longer able to have free reign of the house so had to have a chaperone every where he went.) We watched him start to really slide away beginning on Thanksgiving day. He refused water and food from then on. We warned the kids that he didn't have a lot longer with us and we all gradually said our good byes and did lots of crying. By Monday we all knew it was only hours. I laid on our cold basement floor with him Monday afternoon for a few hours. The girls each sat with him after school. By night time Hubby had his turn in the basement and came to let us know the time was iminent. Naturally there were lots of tears.
Decker was a great friend to our children and tolerated more from them than any other cat would have. We often said we thought his father must have been a dog because of the way he would follow us around, scrounge on the floor for scraps, come running if you snapped your fingers and greet us at the door when we arrived home. He is missed very much at our house. It's difficult to even go in our basement right now.
What may you ask does this ornament have to do with a cat? For whatever reason last year at Christmas Decker had decided that these ornaments were his. This one in particular was in a spot that was low enough for him to reach and pull down. He didn't chew on it, he didn't scratch at it, instead he would rub his head all over it, then lay on it, then rub some more, and eventually fall asleep with some part of his head, legs or paws on this small heart shaped ornament. If you look closely you can still see his hair all over it.
Happy Love Thursday everyone. If you have a pet, give them a hug from all of us.

Dress Up

2009-12-09T12:36:00.000-06:00

Since my youngest daughter has been able to walk she has loved playing dress up. It all started with trying on whatever pair of shoes came in our door. It didn't matter who they belonged to, or what they looked like. We have scrapbook pages dedicated to her in cowboy boots, work boots, high heels, flip flops, men's shoes, women's shoes, slippers, and anything else you can imagine. It moved on to dress up clothes as soon as she was able to dress herself. She had a favorite yellow dress that was mine when I was younger, she loved it because when she would spin it flowed around her like a ballerina. Eventually we took to buying Halloween costumes, dance costumes and second hand dresses to keep her in gifts. She still plays with lots of them today. When her friends come over they drag out the giant tubs of dress up clothes and put on skits, model on the catwalk and just play. Miss 11 received this ornament when she was about 4 years old. To us it is her all dressed up in her yellow dress, fairy wings and wand, one of her favorite combinations. Although I never let her wear the fairy wings when we had to run errands, I do admit sometimes it was just easier to let her leave the yellow dress on over her clothes rather than fight with her about taking it off. She got compliments every where we went.

More Grandma

2009-12-08T17:57:00.000-06:00

Another gem from my Grandmother. It's actually a tree skirt, I've doubled it over and put it on a chair downstairs where I have many of our hand-made items this year. I've only used it once as a tree skirt. It got water on it and I've been afraid to use it since. Plus at the time the cats really liked laying under the tree and chewing on the little ties between each square. I've used it on a table top, in a basket, over the back of a chair and at the end of a bed. I'm not a big fan of the traditional red and green color combination, but this is one of my favorite things, because it was made for me.

Oh the Thinks You Can Think

2009-12-07T13:16:00.000-06:00

Miss 16 had an incredible opportunity a few years back. She was cast as part of the jungle people in Seussical The Musical. Yes, it was a local production, but we had an intern from a pretty impressive acting school here to take the lead and help with directing. It was an amazing experience for her. She loved all the rehearsals, all the set building and all of the performances. I had high hopes that it was the start of her wanting to be involved in the local theater all the time. Alas, it was also the point in her life where she became more shy and little more afraid to put herself out there, and so the next time auditions came around she wasn't willing to try again. That year she naturally received a Cat In The Hat ornament for the tree. I love seeing it each time we bring it out and remembering how much fun the show was for her, and for me to watch. I hope she always remembers that little creative spark she has in her, even if it means just going to the shows, instead of partcipating in them.

Naturally

2009-12-06T17:41:00.000-06:00

Pine cones, spray painted gold. Actually these pine cones happened to have been collected by my Grandmother. She died several years ago so these are quite special to me. She has given me ornaments over the years, and I still have them on my tree, but for some strange reason they don't mean as much to me as my pine cones. I spray painted them with just a light dusting of gold. I've got plain ones still hidden away in a box that she collected as well. I love putting these out in pottery bowls or woven baskets, they add a natural look to my decorating style. I have visions of Grandma out walking through the "forest" as we called it, and putting these in a big box for me, and remembering how much she loved taking walks with us makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Memories

2009-12-05T18:44:00.000-06:00

This is my favorite ornament from when I was younger. I don't think it had any special significance the year I got it. It's a Hallmark ornament. I got one each year while I lived at home, not always a Hallmark, but an ornament of some kind. I can't explain why this one is my favorite of those I received, but it is. Many years SuperSister and I got the same ornament. Sometimes Babybrother got the same one as well. I like knowing that we have a few similar ornaments on our Christmas trees even though we no longer live in the same house.

Tacky but Lovable

2009-12-04T11:30:00.000-06:00

I have a snowman collection that no one but me loves. There are some snowmen that I have received as gifts and some that I have purchased on my own. Some are expensive and some are quite cheesy. Grouped together they look like a mess, apart they look lost, so I just leave them all together. The two featured snowmen were created by my girls. Miss 11 made the one on the left in Kindergarten, he's since lost an arm and his popsicle stick skis have faded. He has smudgy fingerprints where she glued on his eyes and earmuffs. The one on the right was made by Miss 16 in second grade. He's also adorable with a glove tip hat and sequin buttons. His face is hand painted and his scarf is tied and twisted all around his pipe cleaner arms. By far this is the most tacky of my decorating scheme, but it's also the place I stop daily and remember who gave or made me which one.

Decorate

2009-12-03T20:20:00.000-06:00

I've been debating a plan for the blog this month. I am considering posting pictures, hopefully daily from now on, of random decorating we do around the house each Christmas season. Why? I have no idea other than I think I am boring people with all the talk of the swimming, the whining, and blathering.

We'll start with this one. Several years back I found some gorgeous snowflake ornaments. This is one of them. And then, my Mom found the same ornaments and bought me several for Christmas. This might be one of them, we bought the same ones. I put them in windows all around the house. They are a little sparkle in what ends up being long dreary days here. I love the way they look massed together, and this year I tried a few individually in windows, they look great as well. When the sun shines just right, for about 2 minutes, we have rainbows sparkling all over our kitchen. When Miss 11 was younger she used to chase them around, laughing until she fell down.

Day Late Dollar Short

2009-11-25T10:35:00.002-06:00

Even though technically he became Mr 20 yesterday, I still intend to tout his virtues today. Why? Because yesterday my Internet decided to take a pre Thanksgiving vacation leaving me to actually have to work on things besides the computer.

Dear Son,
20 years ago today (yesterday) as I lay in a hospital bed, after waiting for 36 hours and missing Thanksgiving dinner, you were born. As with most things in your life you chose to make it difficult. You weren't coming out, period. You decided that it was warm and toasty where you were, and the contractions coming 5 minutes apart for the past 36 hours could not convince you otherwise. Finally though, the pitocin drip had just the right effect on you. But the pitocin drip made me want to scream and rip someones head off. The (male) Doc decided it was time. And we commenced pushing, and pushing and pushing, and you must have grabbed hold of my lower rib and held on for all you were worth because you were NOT coming out. We should have guessed then exactly how terribly stubborn you were going to be. The (male) Doc then decided to try forceps, but oh no, not one set of forceps, he went through 3 different types of forceps. In the end, I told him to knock it off, and you were finally born. Sometimes I do win arguments between you and I, and I won this one!

Hubby and I were exhausted and thrilled and at 21 and 23 had no idea of the path that was ahead of us. You were a cry-er, and not a sleeper, and the exhaustion over having a newborn seemed overwhelming. So what did we do? 3 weeks after you were born we packed up our small household and moved 120 or so miles away from our closest family. No one ever said 20 something year old parents were geniuses.

We spent 6 months in a lack of sleep induced stupor before finally giving up and moving closer to help. (And a college we could afford for me to attend!)

Son, you are stubborn, over the years we have had innumerable clashes of opinion. Our opinions weren't the same regarding curfews, privileges, homework, grades, girls, friends, chores, TV viewing habits... The list would be long. We fought, we fight. You have learned lessons from me, (I hope) and I have learned lessons from you, my oldest child. You taught me to be a better parent. You taught me patience. You taught me the value of a well written note instead of a yelling, screaming face off. You taught me that at times, if I just shut up, you'll talk, eventually. I've learned that things I never imagined you listened to me about have actually helped you in the long run and you have repeated them to others.

I've learned to text, and text well, because that is the only way you speak to me during those long, long months you are away at college. I have learned that when my phone rings, and you actually call me, it's because you forgot to do something, you have lost something or you need me to mail you something.

Even though we don't always see eye to eye, I have learned things about you from others. I have learned what an amazing friend you are, and how people rely on you. I have learned you are the first one to volunteer to help someone who needs you: whether it's to jump start a car, give a ride to someone who shouldn't be driving (even when you've been in bed asleep for 2 hours already), shovel out a stuck car, drive someone when they have no other way to get there, talk on the phone at all hours of the night to someone who just needs your ear, ask me questions that they are too scared to ask their own parents when they need advice, speak out for someone who is too afraid to use their own voice, etc. The list goes on and on. You have become an amazing young man, and I am very, very proud of you!

I am convinced that as life goes on we will still disagree, and I am ok with that. I hope you are too, because I've learned so much from you and even when we don't agree, I think you learn from me too. Mr 20, I miss you with all my heart and soul when you are away at college, but I know that moving forward with your life is your new path. But even then, I wish I could bring you home, curl you up in your aqua blanket and your Elmo and snuggle with you while we read "Where The Wild Things Are." Happy Birthday to my first born and only son. Enjoy your 20's!

Growing Up

2009-11-06T11:42:00.002-06:00

When they were little I stepped all over Lego's that littered the floor.
Now, I trip over dirty towels on his bedroom floor and random socks littering wherever he drops them.

When they were little I picked up little pieces of Polly Pockets that covered each bedroom. (otherwise the cat eats them and hacks them up!)
Now, I pick up headbands and pony tail holders left wherever they are taken from their hair.

When they were little I poured them bubble baths and dumped in a mountain of toys.
Now, I'm barely allowed in the bathroom when they are showering unless they need a razor, a new bottle of shampoo or a bar of soap.

When they were little I got hugs and kisses before bed, along with begging for one more story.
Now, I'm lucky if I get a "Good night, Mom" from the older two, so I cherish the hugs, kisses and random rambling that I get from Miss 11.

When they were little I scrubbed stains out of underwear, grass stains out of knees and spaghetti sauce stains out of tshirts.
Now, all of their bathroom towels are have bleached handstains where they've neglected to wash their acne medication from their fingers before touching them.

When they were little playing a game with Hubby and I was fun on a Friday night.
Now, I beg for 15 minutes of their time before they head out with their friends.

When they were little a kiss from Mom cured all their woes.
Now, a kiss from them, might cure mine.

Motivate

2009-10-14T13:29:00.002-05:00

Here is the weather we've been having of late. It's not just a one day thing, or a one week thing, it is what our skies have looked like for about 2+ weeks. It's not really all that motivating, but it is really cold!

It's been in the teens at night already, and we've had highs that are barely 30 degrees. I don't do well with cold temps, but I do even worse with cloudy weather. The clouds make me tired, lethargic, crabby, any of those unhappy words you can think of, I've been there in the last few weeks.

It doesn't mean that I'm not busy, and I'm not getting everything done that I typically do, it just means that I'm not feeling it. I'm not too excited about anything, I don't feel the joy that I usually do when I hear Miss 11 giggling, or when she throws her arms around me and gives me a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Mostly I feel like one of those clouds have moved into my head and put a damper on me.

It must be bad when even Hubby starts to complain about the clouds. Miss 16 on the other hand, loves cloudy weather. So I don't hear her complaining too much about the clouds.

Mostly what I hear her complaining about right now is nearly everything else. She's tired out, physically and emotionally, from the huge job that is school and a swim season. These early morning practices and thousands of yards of swimming are doing her in. (Plus, I think, the new medication she is on for her heart makes her really crabby... shhhhhhh... don't tell her I said that!)

Meanwhile we have a few busy days ahead and I'm hoping that it will pull all of us out of this bit of cloudy weather, even if it's only in our minds. We have 2 swim meets at our home pool coming up along with 2 performances of a play where we have Miss 11 as some sort of "octet" character. Although the clouds may be outside I hope the excitement of a good swim meet and the joy of kindergarten through grade 6 performing on stage is enough to put a bit of sun in our lives.

An Ending

2009-10-07T09:44:00.000-05:00

Miss 11 ran her final cross country race yesterday. She swears that next year she is swimming and next year she'll be in 7th grade and she will have to chose. Her favorite quote the day of a CC race that she doesn't feel like running is, "I'm a swimmer, not a runner!" Her coaches would beg to differ with her opinion as they often comment on her smooth stride and legs that carry her forever. There are days where she has a rough time with the race. Last week after a particularly windy and cold race she was in tears over how much her ears hurt. Also the fact that she chose to eat nearly 2 slices of french bread pizza about 40 minutes before the race and those pieces were threatening a return appearance. Yesterday she crossed the finish line, stopped short and ran to me laughing because her nose was dripping like crazy and she needed a tissue there was no whining and no complaining. Cross country is so far from a glamorous sport. The finish line is typically a mish mash of runny noses and other bodily functions that we'll leave to your imagination.

But I know, in spite of all her protestations that Miss 11 will really miss this sport. She knows she's good at it, she loves to run, and she has the endurance. But because the seasons overlap she has to choose. I've enjoyed watching her run. I'm proud that she can do something that I can't. She's got a faster mile time then I think I ever had in my entire life. Hopefully the skills and ability she learned here will stay with her, and she won't be scared to run for exercise or pleasure as she ages. Our goal with involving our children in these sports isn't for top billing at a state tournament and it's not for scholarships to college. Our goal is to give them the ability to exercise for their health and not hate or dread it.

Miss 11 took 2nd in this race with her fastest mile time yet. But most importantly, she had fun and we are proud of her!

Have You Heard The Song...

2009-09-28T20:50:00.002-05:00

God Is Great, Beer is Good, People are Crazy?? I think it's a Dierks Bentley song, not sure though as I have only heard mention of it, and haven't actually heard more than the chorus. But my point being, that it is so true! Well, the people are crazy part is anyway. The beer part I don't understand, because I can't drink it, and the God is Great part, well, I get that part.

Just today, I have dealt with the strangest things, making me think the world is falling apart.

1. It's homecoming week here. That means the band is having extra practices for marching in the parade and playing pep band music. These extra practices are early in the morning so as not to interfere with sports practices. Well guess what? Miss 16 has swimming practices in the morning AND the afternoon, so Miss 16 has had to deal with trying to figure out what in the world to do, which does she go to and which teacher/coach does she disappoint? The band practice is for points towards their grade and the swim practice is mandatory if they want to go to the State meet. So she talks to her coach, tells her she has to go to practice. And the coach chews her out (along with the other band students) as if it is their fault they have practice. This only happens for 1 week during all of swim season I think a little leeway is in order here.

2. Miss 16 is in a confirmation class which meets once a week, Wednesday evenings and has meetings on some weekends. For whatever reason the Church has decided to hold a retreat on a TUESDAY during the school day. Did you see that? During the school day... If your child is due to be confirmed this year, which Miss 16 is, they are "expected" to be at this retreat. Are they crazy? They want our kids to skip school for a day to go to this retreat? I and other parents have been calling the correct people at the Church and expressing our negative opinions on this subject. We've had these retreats before, always after school hours, but during school hours? What are they thinking?

3. Our USA swimming club has decided to extend their season. Normally it runs from November to March, and by March my kids are completely burned out. It is swim practice every night during the week for 2 hours each night. It's a long, long tiring season and most of us parents wonder why in the world it has to last so many months. For whatever reason the club has decided to add to this season by having a "pre-season" during October. The kids are to come, pay 100 bucks for this privilege mind you, and swim 3 nights a week from 7 to 9 and then again on Saturday mornings for 2 hours. So that they will be in shape for the regular swim season when it starts. Isn't that what the regular season is for? Am I misunderstanding something here? A pre-season for young kids swim team? What in the world?

I've got more, but for tonight that is going to have to suffice, because those are the only facts I can keep straight right now. I could list the other crazy things, like the fundraisers and party I am helping with for Miss 11's elementary school, and the strange little things going on with those, but for right now, my head hurts, and I need to sort all this out before I can comment any farther.

Just in case you thought that life was smooth sailing: God Is Great, Beer (Rum) is Good and People are CRAZY!!

Lunatic Fringe

2009-09-25T11:35:00.002-05:00

It runs through my family, anxiety. It's something Miss 11 has been struggling with since she was 2 and we could not leave her with a babysitter, no matter who it was, believe me, we tried and tried and tried.

Inside though I know where her anxiety comes from. Once in a while, well, actually more frequently then I would care to admit, it builds up in me. I get to a point where everything makes me nervous or afraid. Typically my stress level has to be pretty high before I really start to feel it. Sometimes it's for no real reason. Sometimes it's for the little things that normal people don't even give a second thought. Most of the time I just let it bubble beneath the surface. I manage it just fine and the only person who ever knows how bad it is is Hubby. (And it drives him crazy, but he tries hard to be kind while letting me know that I am a lunatic!)

Yesterday Miss 11 had a cross country meet. I couldn't drive her there, so she was riding with her coach and 4 other girls. See a problem? Yeah, most people wouldn't, but I did. By noon yesterday I was shaking, I was scared, nervous and on the verge of tears. Miss 11 hadn't even left town yet. I knew, they'd be driving on a two lane road, through lots of rough hills and valleys, with a lot of oil truck traffic. I had just driven the same road last weekend and it was horrific with traffic, truck traffic. So my mind raced with possibilities and none of them were happy possibilities. My nerves were shot and I wondered how I let my mind travel to this place. I texted Hubby, who naturally reassured me, over and over and over again before he finally called. Then admitted he was at a loss to help me and I needed to relax.

Today I'm better, but I'm wired and worried about Miss 16 being on the road, going to a swim meet without being medicated for her heart and without me being there. (It will be the first this season, and only, Sunday we finally get to start her on new meds!) I feel my mind reaching for the same place it was yesterday, that place where all I can think about is the safety of my children, and the fact that I can not protect them and have them with me every second of the day.

I stew daily over Hubby being on the road, 30 minutes each way, to get to work. I worry about his profession and all the dangerous equipment he works with daily. Plus the fact that he insists on pushing himself beyond what most humans can handle.

I worry every day when Miss 16 backs out of the driveway. I worry about her backing into the ugly pick up that is CONSTANTLY parked right behind her car on the opposite side of the street. I worry about Mr 19 sleeping through his alarm at college, and without a room mate, who will wake him for class? I worry about Miss 11 and how difficult it is for her to make new friends. Worry.. worry.. worry...

I wonder where that line is, the one that runs between normal every day worries and the other side of anxious where there is that loss of control. I wonder if I am already on that other side and I just can't see it. Who decides what a normal amount of worry is, and what is worth worrying about? And when did I become this worrywart?

Bookmaster

2009-09-16T19:52:00.003-05:00

This week I was privileged to get to spend 2 days as the librarian at Miss 11's school. I've taught nearly every type of class there is at an elementary school at one time or another as a substitute teacher. I've been all 7 grades, I've been the PE teacher for an extended time, I've taught music, I've been in the technology room, I was the LD teacher for almost 5 months at one school and 4 months at another, I've even covered the secretaries desk now and then, though not a full day. By far my favorite job is the librarian. I get to see all the kids, I get to read to them, I get to talk to them about what interests them, there aren't too many discipline problems and I get to send them back to their teachers.

This week I had all 6 grades along with 2 classes of kindergarten in 2 days. It was busy, but not too busy and it was fun to see all of the students. My only complaint would be that it has been nearly 90 degrees out both days I taught, and there is no air conditioning in the library. There is a fan, but it's broken. So it was toasty and muggy both days. The worst came when the 5th graders, all 25 of them, came directly to library from PE, where they had been running. Oh, it was a joyous mixture of odors that afternoon.

I was fortunate enough to hear lots of interesting tales and help look for some strange book choices:

- "My mom used to have a shirt like that, but she thought it got really old and ratty so she put it on a rummage sale. Then she bought another one sort of like it, it's blue like yours." Thanks kid, this is a brand new shirt, second time I've worn it.

-"I've seen a snake this big on the road by my house, it was eating a pig or something." While looking at a picture of a reticulated python.

-"I'm pretty sure I could read this." A kindergartner scanning through a chapter book with teeny, tiny print and well over 200 pages.

-"Do you know where my grandma lives?" No honey, I'm afraid I don't. But I'm sure you could tell me in a reaaallllllyyyyyy long story.

-"Mrs. Librarian doesn't do it that way." Lather, rinse, repeat... again, and again, and again.

"Do I look like Mrs. Librarian?" They say no you don't and I tell them, "Then I won't do things exactly like Mrs. Librarian," and they are fine with that, but with the kindergartners, I was a little afraid to say that, because I was scared they would say yes, and the librarian is about 64 years old.

Those Little Things

2009-09-02T14:19:00.002-05:00

You know, all those little things... the ones that get your blood boiling, or make you feel overwhelmed. It's the ones that just irritate the begeeberz out of you and make you wish for a vacation somewhere warm, with a butler, and a maid.

Hubby has one of those days going today. He called this morning, half an hour after he left, in a tizzy about something beyond his control, cussed a blue streak, which made me mad, so we argued. Then, when he was finally able to get where he needed to, 2 more major things went wrong. He works alone, on a farm, things going wrong are stressful without someone to help with them, but the worst part is all the physical labor involved, by yourself. With no one to drive if something breaks down, he walks or more than likely runs, with no one to help he shovels bins by himself when augers fail, and with no one to help he does all the little things that keep him from doing what he really needs to be doing this time of year: running the combine.

Despite leaving early, the combine (harvester if your from down south) wasn't running in the field until after 1:30 p.m. and that makes one mad Hubby. There is nothing in his mind that should interfere with the combine being in the field, nothing. He doesn't think any of the extra work he has to do counts for anything if the combine isn't running. It's the same way in the spring when the seeder isn't going when he wants it to be. He works hard, way too hard, and with me needing to be where the kids are, I'm not a lot of help.

So this is my post giving kudos to my husband. He won't read here until after harvest is done, so I'm not trying to weasel my way out of trouble, or get a little extra cash or some other material thing. I just want it to be out here for him to read someday.

Hubby, we know you can't work less, we know you can't stop during certain times of the year and take a break. We all know that despite your desires there are many times you can't make it to a swim meet, an IEP meeting or a concert. You miss out on little day to day things that break your heart, and you miss out on big things and wonder why in the world things are scheduled during harvest or seeding. We chuckle knowing that in your mind you honestly think everyone elses schedules should revolve around seeding and harvest just like yours does.
Your work is thankless and the world often doesn't see just how much of yourself you put into it (literally with all the cuts and head smacks you incur). But here at home we see it, we know how hard you work, we see how much you stress and we wish that there was a way we could help. We know that coming home after we have all gone to bed isn't an escape from us, but a necessity, and we are glad that most of the time we see you for a little while in the mornings. Even though there is little we can do, we want you to know that we appreciate every scrape, cut, head smack and stomping-up-and-down-throwing-your-hat-on-the-ground cussing-a-blue-streak-thing that you do to let the rest of us live the way we do. Try to relax more, try to control your temper, but know, that we love you anyway.

Quiet

2009-08-23T19:25:00.002-05:00

After a week of having 2 extra teenage girls around, we have returned to a more quiet household. Mr 19 and the girls have all left. Mr 19 returned to college 7 hours away and Hubby and I delivered the girls to one of their parents for the remainder of their trip home on Saturday. My house, though still disorderly, is very quiet. Hubby is also gone as harvest FINALLY got started. (Only 3 weeks and 2 days past normal)

Last week was organized chaos as Miss 16 and the two extra teens, Lolo and Sissa, had swim practice twice a day. If you know swimmers you know that after swim practice all they can think about doing is EATING, and eating a lot of food. My job was to keep them fed, healthily fed. Each morning before they got up I set out cereals, toasts, yogurts, juice and fruit. (you know nothing about the 2 loaves of monkey bread that I made for them... nothing!) At noonish I made lunch and had that ready and waiting when they got home from practice, and around supper (dinner if you aren't from my background) I made two meals, one for my family and one for the swimmers. They were the same meal, just ready at 2 different times to allow for better kitchen and table access. I washed towels when needed and once had to wash clothes as practice was in the middle of a just rained on football field that resulted in mud baths for all. Don't worry, I kept my family in clean clothes all week, I only meant that I only had to wash Lolo and Sissa's clothes once.

The girls were tired, exhausted at times, but enjoyed each others company immensely. They had friends over each night they were here, sometimes other swimmers, and sometimes, gasp!, boys! They made a mess of Miss 16's room which must have driven her crazy since she is such a neatnic. In fact she had her room cleaned within hours of the girls being gone.

Also last week Mr 19 packed himself up and headed east to start college classes again. I didn't think it would be hard to see him go again, but it was. I said goodbye just before I had to take Lolo and Sissa to meet their ride (45 minutes away) and I cried halfway there. It's a good thing Hubby was along to drive since I had a problem with my eyes, they kept dripping.

Hubby started harvesting today. It's a relief and a stress all at the same time. Last year harvest began on August 1st, this year it began on August 23rd. The rains, cold nights, cool days and lack of sun and heat led to a very, very slow maturing of the crops. In fact many aren't anywhere near harvestable even yet. It will more than likely prove to be a highly stressful harvest season for all of us.

School starts this week, so this gradual quieting of my household is probably good for me. At least it didn't happen all at once. My days are still busy but the literal noise in the house is much less than it has been. I'm not sure it's a good thing. A little chaos in a house is a sign of a busy, happy family.

Selling Something?

2009-08-17T15:25:00.002-05:00

Recently we have been looking to update my vehicle. We've been researching (and if you know my husband you know this is a HUGE project: must. research. everything.) and trying to make up our minds on wants and needs, and just plain like-to-haves. Of course price is also a factor, along with color, because I will NOT drive another maroon vehicle, I WON'T I WON'T I WON'T!!

Researching has led us to a few car dealers and with car dealers come car salesman. I have nothing against a salesman, my dad works sales, my husband used to work in sales and friends have worked in sales. Selling and being good at selling things is a job and a talent. Not everyone can be nice to everyone who steps up to their business. Being a good salesman means being a proficient actor. However, in our research I have come across people who I can definitely say are not good salesmen. (Yes, I said Men)

I am getting rid of a van, a mini van. I may or may not get another one, but that isn't the point of this post. Here is the point:

If you are a salesman and a husband and a wife come in, driving a van, and talk about purchasing a van or smaller SUV from you, and it is VERY obvious that this vehicle is going to be a vehicle for the wife, then I would recommend to you that you actually make eye contact with the wife, you should speak to the wife, you should find out what the wife wants, and you should behave as though the wife is actually in the same universe as you are. As the wife I have the power to completely refuse to buy a vehicle from you, there goes your commission. I would also recommend that you don't poo-poo what the wife deems important and not important in a vehicle. Once again, I have the power to refuse to buy a vehicle from you, and I will do it in a heartbeat.

We have a salesman we have dealt with for years, and although he is 120 miles away he has the salesman touch down pat. When he calls or when we stop by, guess who he talks to AS MUCH AS or more than he talks to my husband. That would be me. He realizes that in order to get a sale, I need to be convinced, and I need to know that what I want is what's important. I know he doesn't give a flying fig what my life is really like, he doesn't care how my family is, or what I will be using the vehicle for, but he acts like he does, and he listens when I speak. After I have said what I want/don't want, he doesn't show us things or recommend things that don't have what I want/don't want. Overall he's making me feel like my time is valuable and he's not going to waste it.

So to all you salesman I have dealt with recently who were more interested in Hubby's opinion and his thoughts and to the few of you who were more interested in my chest size, there is a very specific reason I am not buying a vehicle from you, and the reason is you. Get a new job because you are not going to make it as a salesman.

Responsibility

2009-07-28T11:00:00.003-05:00

Bet you thought this post was going to go on and on and whine about how my children never pick up after themselves, and never do what they are told, right? Well, you are wrong, though there is one in particular who does that, this post isn't about him, oops, I mean isn't about that particular subject.

This post is regarding Miss 11 and her complete ability to baffle me. Or it could be my inability to understand her, one or the other, and who's responsibility it is to keep her moving forward.

Late last week Miss 16 and Mr 19 were fortunate enough to be at the lake with friends. Miss 16 was staying at a cabin with a friend and her family and Mr 19 was off gallivanting with his friends at a nearby lake. Miss 11 was stuck home with us, as is not unusual since she is only 11. We felt sorry for her, and decided to take her out for ice cream.

We drove to the ice cream place, actually it's a miniature golf place that just happens to serve ice cream, and stepped up to the counter to decide what we wanted. There were two people working, a mother and son I would guess, and they both started talking to us. Heaven forbid! Miss 11 was trying to make her decision when one of them asked, "What can I get you? Waffle cone, plain cone, dish?" She looked at me, clearly panicked to have people speaking to her, with a question in her eyes. I explained her options and she whispered the answer to me, I relayed it to the attendant. The attendant picked up the waffle cone, walked back over and asked what she wanted in it. Again Miss 11 got the panicked look in her eyes, and I just took over, telling the attendant what I wanted, Hubby then told them what he wanted and Miss 11 was still trying to decide. Finally she whispered in Hubby's ear what she had decided and he passed the information on. End of transaction, we got ate our ice cream (mine was licorice chip by the way, mmmmmm!) and walked to the van.

As the evening progressed I thought more and more about how shy Miss 11 can be, and I worried as mother's do about how we sometimes coddle her. I wondered whether I should have forced her to order her own ice cream, or if just making her life easier was ok.

Then yesterday I had one of those "oh my gosh my kids don't need me" moments. Miss 11 has volleyball camp this week. She attends for 1.5 hours every morning. It's in a building she has spent time in often for various other volleyball related activities. I have always had to walk her in to those activities, stay until she was comfortable with her coach, or sometimes stay the entire time, and if I left I always had to be back well before she was done waiting where she could see me.

Yesterday we got to the building, she opened the van door, hopped out and said "see you afterwards!"

"Wait," I said, "don't you want me to walk you in?"

"Nope, I'm good!"

"Um, ok, I'll be waiting in the parking lot when you are done, I'll park by the building, look for me there."

"Ok, bye Mom, love you!"

And off she scampered. I had added the wait for you in the parking lot part just to test her, and she was fine. She didn't care if I was coming in, or walking her in, she was completely fine being dropped off. It was strange, especially after the few days spent worrying about the shyness. She didn't know who was her coach or who was at camp, and none of it bothered her.

So now I wonder, what do I force her to do (order for herself) and what do I just wait for her to be comfortable doing on her own?

Ear Muffs

2009-07-25T15:42:00.002-05:00

Last week we went to SuperSister's best friends farm. She raises mini horses and full size horses. We had a great time wandering through the mini pen with the new babies. My girls were in love and both begged to bring one home.

The best part was watching my Niece. Although she has been at the farm several times, and she begs to go, she still has a slight fear of the animals and spends her entire time wandering around with her hands over her ears. For some reason she has chosen this as her scared look, and she does it all the time. You can see her in the bottom left of the photo with Miss 11.

Less Needed

2009-07-15T12:09:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a big day for Miss 16. She was very nervous, but she persevered and passed her driver's license test! So now we have 1 more driver in the house, and because of that I am just a little less needed at home. Sigh. Though I love that I won't need to schedule my time around when both girls need rides, I am really going to miss the times I had in the vehicles with Miss 16. Not always, but many days when I picked her up from school I got a little glimpse into what her days are like, she usually had something to tell me, or something to complain about, and I will miss those few moments we had alone each day. Yes, we'll probably have times at home alone before Miss 11 will need a ride home, but it's not the same. There are too many rooms in the house, too many things that need to be done, and too much temptation to be in separate rooms. I'll miss those trapped in the car with mom moments of one on one time.

Twin Cities Tour

2009-07-13T19:41:00.002-05:00

We are home from our vacation in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Although it really didn't feel much like a vacation, we didn't do a lot of touristy things, we didn't sit on a beach and relax, I didn't read any trashy novels. But, we did stay in a hotel, and the girls swam in the pool there, so I guess there is that.

Miss 16 had her Doc appointment with her surgeon, long story short, more monitoring required. So although it was a short to the point appointment, this way we have a direction to take.

Mr 19 went along and stayed at my Hubby's sister's place. He took over their basement for a while and hung out with his newly graduated cousin, SuperSwimBoy. SuperSwimBoy will be moving on to swim at Gustavus, a college close to his home town. The boys hung out, went to a Twin's game that lasted 16 innings and generally caroused for "hot chicks."

The girls have a cousin who is 15, she spent time with us doing some shopping, gossiping and driving. Miss 11 has run out of too many things in common with the girls at the moment, as they mostly talk about who's hawt and who's not... but they included her some, and I appreciated that.

My favorite part of the trip was a visit to Trader Joe's. I brought home a few bags of goodies and I am conserving them so I can whip out a treat now and then when I'm feeling sorry for myself and the fact that I live in a town with crap for grocery stores. (why, oh why doesn't Trader Joe's have an online shopping sight??)

I'll be heading out on Thursday for a birthday celebration with SuperSister where Supersister, Miss 16, Miss 11, SuperSisterinLaw and maybe Hubby and Mr 19 will be going to the new Harry Potter flick. I can't wait!

So just in case you wondered if I got kidnapped while I was in the big city, no such luck, I'll be around to bore you again soon!

Love Of My Life

2009-06-24T09:17:00.003-05:00

This day I will marry my friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.

Twenty years have flown by, and I am more in love today than I was then. I can't believe how lucky I am.

La Fête Des Pères

2009-06-22T19:28:00.002-05:00

We didn't celebrate in grand style. In fact up until the actual day, I had nothing outside of one meal even planned. First off, I didn't know if Hubby would actually be staying home and not going to work, and secondly, I didn't know who was and who wasn't going to be around. So although we love Hubby to pieces, celebrating wasn't a big priority for us.

Instead, we slept in, well, we tried to sleep in. There was all kinds of noise on the street, and we had been up for 2 hours with a thunderstorm during the night, so although it was eight o'clock, the 1 a.m. bedtime, combined with the 2 hours of being up, and the son who didn't bother coming home at a decent hour, didn't lead to a lot of sleep.

On a side note, my daughters who used to fly to my bedroom at the first rumble of thunder, no longer crawl into my bed and tremble. They each checked on each other, they lay in their own beds for a long time, in each other's beds for a while, and then after 2 hours of waiting for the thunder to FINALLY stop, they got up and checked the radar themselves. Finding it was nearly done, they both went back to bed in their own rooms.

The morning was peaceful outside of a wrestling session with Miss 11. Or it could have been 3 wrestling sessions, it's hard to say if they just blurred into each other or if it was three separate times. We made chocolate chip pancakes and juneberry pancakes for lunch. Rather Miss 11 and Hubby made the pancakes. Yes I know he wasn't supposed to work or cook or do anything on Father's Day. But please remember we didn't celebrate Mother's Day this year either since he was working, so I wasn't about to let him out of everything yesterday. (And if you know him at all, you know he can never sit still for 5 seconds anyway, so he might as well be productive!)

We let Hubby open some small gifts. He and I bought a gorgeous bench for our porch in the early spring months, so we didn't exchange Mother's/Father's day gifts. The girls gave him a few things, and he's still waiting on Mr 19's gift. (He said he was taking care of it... still haven't seen it though.) After gift opening Hubby was begged and cajoled into playing Mario Kart for the Wii with Miss 11. So while they careened over hill and dale I made scotcheroos, Hubby's favorite, and sliced up peaches to have with ice cream for dessert, also Hubby's favorite. I put the chicken into a marinade and Hubby took off on a driver's training drive with Miss 15.

After a delicious supper we loaded the bikes up and headed to a park for a long bike ride. It was gorgeous out, and we enjoyed our time away from the house with Miss 11. Miss 15 had a hot date, so didn't join us.

So Father's Day wasn't an extravagant affair, but it was a chance for us to just be together, and we enjoyed it.

Hop Hop Hop

2009-06-17T13:27:00.003-05:00

We had the most wonderful time last week with my Niece (who I still need a nickname for) and SuperSister. Niece is a wild woman. We worked hard to make her more wild then she was before she got here. Our biggest accomplishment was to take one of her newest sayings, "OH NO!" and improve on it with tons of voice inflections and facial actions. It worked and she had us laughing until we cried. Next up is "ALLELUIA!" with a big throw of the arms to top it off.

We had a really fun night when SuperSisterinLaw brought Nephew (who also needs a nickname!) over before supper one night. Miss 11 and I giggled at the two toddlers fighting over every toy in the house, and the ones outside. No, we didn't help to separate or distract them, we just laughed at them. Later BabyBrother came over and we all had a great supper followed by some Godiva Liquor. Yum. Miss 11 was an awesome babysitter for the younger set. I was very proud of her!

Miss 15 (nearly 16) was away for the week, so didn't get to join in on the giggling over the little ones, but she had a good time traveling with her Grandmother to see her cousin's in the big city. She especially enjoyed the shopping.

This week Miss 15's friend is staying with us. The girls are having a great time working out, tanning, rollerblading, and hanging out with their male "friends." Miss 15 is sure to comment after that quote... just wait and see. I spend a lot of time stocking the fridge and cooking. That plus driving them now and again.

Miss 11 has had band, volleyball camp, art class and playdates this week. I also spend time driving her to those activities.

I sort of feel a bit attention deficit myself as I hop, hop, hop from one activity to another with little time to do the things that need to be done. Although it's not as busy as during the school year, and I get moments now and then to visit with the girls, so it makes it all worth it.

Bits and Pieces

2009-06-08T13:54:00.002-05:00

I've tried to figure out some cohesive post to write for the past week, but there is nothing that creates a long enough story to even bother posting on, and yet there are so many little things that I can't remember them all. Really it's like my day to day life has ADHD and can't seem to focus itself on just one thing. So here are the bits and pieces of our, and I use the term VERY loosely, summer vacation so far.

-Miss 15 is headed out on a mini vacation with her Grandmother tomorrow. I will drive them to the airport 2 hours away and bring home my sister and my niece. I can not wait to see them, but I'm sort of sad that Miss 15 is leaving me for 5 days. I like the few brief moments we get to spend together gossiping and giggling each day. It makes me feel like I have a friend. Thought I am sure my sister and I will giggle a bit, too.

-Miss 11 has bronchitis. She coughs and coughs and coughs and coughs. I am so tired of listening to her cough that I want to yell at her, and I feel so awful that she is sick, it's kind of an anomaly. Yet she still has enough energy to drive me crazy at times. We've been enjoying a little bit of time each day playing Ziggity, a card game by Cranium. She's waiting for me right now to come and play. Today she has a dentist appointment to get her teeth cleaned. I have rescheduled it 3 times due to her coughing, I don't want to reschedule it again, so I am going to take her in and hope and pray that it works out.

-Hubby and Mr 19 have finished seeding! I can't tell you what a relief it is to have that over with. Hubby worked 26 days in a row, 12+ hour days, and spent nearly every other night at the farm instead of home in his bed. I missed just having breakfast with him. I also missed someone else being able to make some of the decisions here at the house. Or being able to say, "Go talk to your father about it!"

-The weather here is driving me insane. I am not going to whine and go on and on about how there has been a frost warning, how our high temps never made it to 50 degrees recently or how sick of moving pots of plants to the garage and covering flower beds. Believe me, you don't want to know what I think of the weather right now.

-In the not so distant future we will be traveling for a doctor's appointment for Miss 15. It will be a ten hour drive. I'm excited to have the appointment over with, but not so much for the drive.

And now, I must go and play Ziggity. For these times when my youngest still wants me around are growing short as evidenced by the fact that my 2 oldest never want me around. I have to beg them for time to spend together. How strange is that?

We're Cool

2009-05-28T22:15:00.000-05:00

Springs Work

2009-05-24T14:21:00.002-05:00

There are times when life just gets away from me in the busy-ness that is my world in the spring. I forget to look closely at the new buds on the trees, the flowers just starting to blossom and the plants that are just coming up and reaching for the warmth of the sun.

Instead I find myself running from the van, to the house, to the school, to the play date, or to the store. I find myself pretending to listen as Miss 11 tells me a story, and when she is done I can't remember what it is she said. I forget things I shouldn't and I stress over the scheduling of the weeks before school gets out.

Hubby is swamped at his job, so life here at home is my responsibility. Hubby has been coming home to sleep every other night, but by the time he gets here, I'm already in bed, and he is home less than 10 hours or so. His springs work involves our livelihood. There is no putting off anything at his job, everything needs to be done and done well for it to pay our bills the rest of the year. The stress he feels and puts on himself is sometimes overwhelming.

Here at home I attempt to deal with all the day to day drama without involving Hubby at all. His brain needs to be at work, and my brain needs to deal with 3 kids and the drama that goes with them. Though there are times that I simply cannot make decisions on my own about certain problems and I have to call for his input, but physically I am in charge here on my own for a while. It makes me wonder how single parents can ever make it without losing their minds.

There are times when he is walking out the door early in the morning, on his 16th day in a row of work, that I have to stop myself from begging him to stay home. Not because I need his help physically for a task or job of some kind, but just because I need him here to talk to, to hug and to touch. The kids need him here to talk to and visit with as well, and though none will admit they miss him, the girls both ask often when he will be home from work, if he'll be home that night, or if he has to work tomorrow, too.

Life here although busy starts to slow down a little bit this week with the return of summer vacation for the kids. Miss 11 had her last day on Friday, the older two have been done nearly a week. Hopefully that will mean more time to visit with each other, to play games, shop, go for bike rides and walks, and generally relax just a bit. But until Hubby can be home with us in the evenings and on weekends, even summer vacation, doesn't feel as sweet.

Miss 10 Plus 1

2009-05-12T13:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday my little Miss 10 aged up another year, so we now have Miss 11 at our house. Unfortunately she wasn't feeling 100%, so her day was pretty laid back, but fortunately she had the day off of school, so she was able to relax and take it easy. She was still spoiled and hugged and kissed and spoiled some more, so it worked out ok.

I've learned more from Miss 11 this year. Last year I posted all the things about her that were special and were learning experiences, and this year I learned even more from her.

I've learned that her abilities and accomplishments can shock me even when I thought I was prepared for them. I'm not a big believer in standardized testing, in fact I'd consider myself someone who has a loathing for standardized tests. (but that is for another post) However, Miss 11 has always, always scored below grade level in the reading portion of such tests. I know they were pretty accurate because I read with her a lot, and I saw the mistakes she made, and she didn't read up to grade level. We worked very hard to change that. This year, on her tests, she scored well above her grade level on the reading portion, and I wasn't surprised. Her reading abilities this year soared! She went from reading easy Disney Fairies books to reading eighth grade reading level books that our middle school classes read for English class, in one year! She is so proud of herself, and I can't ask for more than that.

Emotionally this year was also a big step. Although I knew they wouldn't end completely, the stomping, tantrums and crying rages, have diminished to such an extent that I can predict them, and sometimes avert them completely. They were few and far between this year, and it's because Miss 11 is finally learning to control her emotions.

Miss 11's anxiety, while not gone, has made big strides this year. Although she still gets very nervous, for nearly everything it sometimes seems, she is more willing to take that step and move ahead despite the nerves. This Sunday Miss 15 and her (male) friend decided they would take Miss 11 to the Hannah Montana movie as a birthday gift. Miss 11 was very nervous about it, in fact she said no at first. Even the day of, as she walked out the door, she gave me "the look" that says, "geez I'm not sure I can handle this." I gave her an extra hug, a squeeze of her shoulder and told her she would have fun, and she stepped out the door to do something she wasn't comfortable doing. A few years back she would have refused, ran back in the door and went to her room. She had fun, and she was brave.

Miss 11, you are an amazing child. You have taught us all patience, you have given us laughter and love without reservation. You know when I need a hug and you give them freely. Out of all three of my children you seem to be most tuned in to my emotions, you know when I'm upset, or happy, or sad, and you always ask what's wrong or make a silly joke to bring me up. You love your siblings beyond belief even though you never show them that. I know that at school when you add your intentions during morning prayer, that you always pray for Miss 15 and Mr 19. (your teacher ratted on you!) Wrestling with your dad is your adrenaline rush for the day, and though he doesn't tell you, he looks forward to every morning when you knock him over and wrestle before school starts. He knows that you show him how much you love him by picking on him, and you must love him a lot! Your generosity is above your years, gifts, letters, notes, and pictures are given to all those who touch your life. You are a light to all of us.
Happy Birthday, Miss 11! May this year be full of even more amazing milestones.

Edited to add: Today I found out that Miss 11 volunteered to serve as an altar server for a funeral mass. This is another of those big steps she's taken this year. One more notch on her belt in her quest for doing things that make her nervous. When I asked how it went she said, "good, only 3 or 4 people cried."

Faux Love Thursday

2009-05-05T12:36:00.004-05:00

I had planned to wait for this post until Love Thursday, because lately I'm kind of having a hard time feeling the love on that particular day. But I am so excited and blessed, that I have to share the love today, and not later this week.

Last night was a band concert for Miss 15. It involved bands from grades 7 to 12, along with jazz bands and brass ensembles. Knowing that Miss 10 had band practice, volleyball games and track practice after school last night, we decided that Miss 10 could stay home with Hubby to work on homework, showering and night time before bed activities. I was to go to the concert by myself, which is fine. I knew with all the grades involved it was going to be very crowded, so two less people would be ok.

As the concert progressed and after I had listened to one song from Miss 15's concert band, the band director, Mr. R., began speaking. Assuming he was talking about the song they were about to play, I sort of tuned out a bit. (I know, shame on me!) One of Miss 15's close friends was sitting beside me and sort of bumped my elbow to get me to pay attention. Mr R. was discussing a young lady in his band who was in need of another heart procedure. He was talking about the costs associated with it and the fact that this was the second time she was having it done. I paid a little more attention at that point, thinking, "Oh my gosh... he can't be talking about Miss 15." Mr. R. continued saying the bands he conducts had all taken two days to bring in some cash to help pay for this procedure and would "Miss 15" please come forward and accept this money from the bands to help pay for her medical costs. She stood up and Mr. R announced the total at around $380 from the students, he also said he intended to use 25% of the proceeds paid for admission to donate as well. I was astounded, shocked and misty-eyed. Miss 15 sat back down with her band, and Mr. R also told the audience that he was sending around four young gentlemen with baskets, and if the audience was so inclined would they please put in the change from their pockets if they would like to help out with this cause. Again, I was astounded and again I got tears in my eyes. I watched as person after person dropped money in the baskets, even high school students sitting and watching their friends play in the bands.

Later during the concert Mr. R. brought Miss 15 back on stage after another band had finished playing. He brought her close to the microphone and he spoke again. He thanked the audience profusely and commented on their generosity and giving spirit. Then he announced to everyone as he handed Miss 15 a stack of money that the audience had raised over $1,700. There was applause, and there were more tears from me. After the concert Miss 15 and I went to find Mr. R and to thank him. We brought the money home and dropped it on the table to show Hubby. We both teared up again. This was such a shock, and we were so surprised.

This morning I opened an account at the bank to keep this money safe until it is used to pay for the procedure. The total was $2,331. There was a check for $100, so we can easily thank that person for their generosity, but there was also a hundred dollar bill in the mix. Someone anonymously gave one hundred dollars. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around that. (Miss 15 came home for lunch today and is highly suspicious the anonymous donor was her English teacher.)

We feel blessed. We feel humbled. We feel grateful. There are so many, many people in our community who have needs much greater than ours. Yet the audience and band had it in their hearts to support Miss 15 with this generous donation.

Because we rarely accept or ask for help from anyone in any part of our lives, this generous outpouring has given has terrible guilt, not that we are ungrateful in any way, but we feel as though people are just being too kind. There is no way that we can thank everyone who gave money, there is no way to let people know how very, very much this meant to us. But we are grateful, and we are blessed to live where people give, and expect nothing in return.

So Yummy it Made Me Sigh

2009-05-04T12:46:00.002-05:00

I am eating this right at this very moment, and I am in heaven! It is divine.

I Can Feel It

2009-05-01T13:31:00.002-05:00

Although my finger is not healed, I am getting more and more feeling back in it, outside of the throbbing that I put up with the first few days, I couldn't feel a thing on it. Now when I touch something to it, I almost can feel it, mostly though it sort of feels tingly, like it's been asleep. Although I can almost type with it, it's not easy, so forgive mistakes and lack of posts for just a little while longer.

Miss 10 is enduring a cold the later part of this week. It's so unusual to see her lethargic, and not hopping around like a maniac. Once in a while she'll spark into her old self and hop around, or giggle maniacally, but she's been pretty subdued. It makes me want to snuggle her up and sit with her until she gets better, but then the germ-phobic in me has other ideas. I try to balance the two sides of me, but I know a better mother would just sit with her and snuggle and baby her to no end. I take good care of her, but I just can't get too close for too long before I just have to go and wash my hands. In less than two weeks she'll be turning 11 years old. She's so excited for her birthday. She has the day off of school and everything!

Hubby has been working hard trying to get ready for seeding season. Normal years he has already been in the field by now. This year the snow, melting, cold temps and just this week nearly two inches of rain have really put him far behind. That means he is getting to the point where stress is getting the better of him, it also means that I sleep with a tooth grinding maniac. Sometimes the noises incorporate themselves into my dreams.

We have had clouds and gloom for days. Today we have had flashes of sunshine. When I see these flashes I run out on our deck and just stand and bask in it. I can't wait until we have a full day of sun, I plan to sit in it, work in it, sleep in it, read in it, walk in it.... you get the idea.

BOO HISSSSSS!!

2009-04-24T09:26:00.004-05:00

Today in my corner of the world......

Love Thursday

2009-04-23T12:11:00.003-05:00

Wordless Wednesday

2009-04-22T13:44:00.006-05:00

Way to Accessorize!

2009-04-21T09:22:00.003-05:00

I thought perhaps you would enjoy a picture of my new accessory, it's lovely, no? I considered showing you a picture of my finger underneath my pretty new splint, but it's not for the squeamish, and it wouldn't be fair without a warning. Miss 15 was so grossed out she ran from the room.

I'm normally not too klutzy, I have quick reflexes, strong arms and pretty fair eyesight. For whatever reason yesterday whether my mind was elsewhere or my reflexes were impaired I have no idea, bit I managed to slam my hand in a door. Fortunately only one finger took the brunt of the force, unfortunately it was apparently my favorite finger because it is darn difficult to do anything without use of that finger.

I handle pain well, I don't whine normally, just deal and move on. This however was one of those that brought me to my knees and made me feel ill. I was coherent enough to get ice on it right away, so I think I saved a lot of further swelling. I iced it for two hours straight, and if you have never tried driving children all over town while icing your dominant hand, then you just aren't living.

Still the damage isn't pretty. Because I took the blow right above or right at my top joint, all the force went to the tip of my finger. The nail is black, the very tip is blood red where all the blood was forced up and there is bruising all around the joint. The skin is pulled so tight that I can't straighten it, but I can bend it so I'm sure nothing is broken. Mostly it is one giant, swollen bruise on the very top of my finger with enough pressure in it that putting my hand under the sheet last night nearly made me cry. So the splint is just for protection against more bumps and a reminder to me not to use the finger. I'm learning lots of new skills this way though: doing my make up, Miss 10's hair, typing, using a mouse, cooking, brushing my teeth, slicing bread, etc.

I am not begging for sympathy, I'm explaining why there may be a lack of posting, although I am getting fairly decent at typing without that finger. In the meantime sitting still and not moving makes it throb a lot less, so I think I'll get a few books read, though my house may suffer from lack of attention.

Next time you are near a door, try to shut it without having your fingers in it. You'll thank me for the warning.

Can You Feel The Love?

2009-04-16T15:08:00.002-05:00

Happy Love Thursday everyone!
Instead of the typical post of how love is shown to me, I want to tell about how I show love. If you live at my house, you hear it daily, I tell them all I love you as they leave for school and when I tuck them in bed, and sometimes just randomly because something made me think of them. I like to text it at unexpected moments, too. It confuses them, sometimes they think they did something wrong. Heh...

But there are other ways I show love:

~I do laundry every other day, I wash it, dry it, fold it and put it in their rooms, or away depending on their age and how much I feel like cleaning out the drawers.

~Weekly while menu planning I try to take into account their favorites and add one from each family member to the menu.

~I drive and drive and drive children some more to get them to their favorite activities. If they want to be involved in something, I try never to say no.

~Homework help is always a yes, I never turn down a request if someone needs help with homework, even if that means I don't do or go somewhere I was planning.

~I cook, a lot, we seldom go out to eat, eat fast food, or eat frozen meals. I buy the groceries and cook the food most nights a week. I work very hard to prepare healthy options at every meal, there is always a fruit and always a vegetable. (I didn't say they always ate it, I said I made it!)

There are lots of tiny ways to show them love as well, like notes in their lunches at school, notes on the bathroom mirror when they get up in the morning, notes if I leave for the day and they come home before I do, their favorite food or snack in the cupboard, a book they've been wanting to read magically appearing on their bed or any number of little things. They may not know that what I do in a day is done simply because I love them, they may not realize it consciously, but I hope somewhere in their subconscious, they know that all those little and big things are because I love them!

Sproing!

2009-04-15T09:55:00.002-05:00

Finally, finally we can say that spring is here. And although the forecasters are calling for a "cooler and wetter" spring than normal, we can see the warmth taking over from the snow piles that are left. In fact, at the moment, I have only one 18 inch snow pile out in the yard, just one. It makes my heart sing to not see snow every where I look. The trees are getting a few tiny buds on them, I have plants growing and actually blooming beside the house, and I'm having dreams, literally, about the changes I want to make in the yard this year. Aaaaah, what a relief from the cold, gloom and snow.

Miss 15's appointment was nearly exactly what I expected. She had an ECHO in the morning which showed her heart to be structurally perfect. That's good news. Then after a lengthy wait and appointment in the afternoon, the only news we have is that this pediatric cardiologist is recommending that she have surgery again to change the nerve path that causes her supra ventricular tachycardia (SVT). We would need to return to the same hospital and the same surgeon as last time to have it done. We are still debating the merits. Hubby is completely against it, "if it didn't work the first time why would we do it again?" type of view. Miss 15 wants the surgery, just isn't sure if she's ready to proceed with it this summer or not. I just dread the thought of holding her hand while they put the IV in, having her sobbing that she has changed her mind, wheeling her to the surgery room, sobbing as I walk back to sit in the surgery lobby with other parents who's children are very ill, being on the verge of a nervous breakdown while we wait, and wait, and wait, and then sitting with her in the recovery room while she can't move, she can't drink and she can't think properly, praying that this time all the stress and anxiety would be worth it. I know that in order for her to lead a normal life, to be able to give 100% to any physical activity she is involved in, to be able to have babies in the future without any added stress on her heart, that this is the road we have to take, that we have to give her this opportunity in life. I know that in my brain, and in my heart, but that doesn't make it any easier to make that decision.

For the next 30 days Miss 15 is on a heart monitor. Luckily it is a small recorder, about the size of a pager or cell phone, so other than being uncomfortable at the wire sites it doesn't interfere with her life. It has 2 wires that connect to two different spots on her chest. She has stopped taking her medication to control the SVT. That was necessary in order to bring on a "heart spell" that can be recorded and sent to the cardiologist. It's a bit nerve wracking to have her off her meds because we know it's not comfortable for her. But in the end, a necessary evil that will have to be endured, but hopefully just for a short time frame.

After finishing up her appointments we were able to fit in some of Miss 15's favorite activity, shopping. Then we came home to a gorgeous weekend, and Miss 10 got to do her favorite thing, play outside. We arrived home on Saturday evening and Miss 10 headed outside. Other than meals and sleep, I think she spent nearly all day Sunday and Monday outside as well. I think she missed her yard, I know I did. Hubby and I were able to get back on our bikes on Monday night for our first ride of the year and Mr 19 enjoyed his favorite activity while he was home: staying out half the night and driving his parents mad with his schedule.

Making The Loop

2009-04-08T10:39:00.002-05:00

We leave tomorrow, yes, tomorrow. I haven't started packing, I haven't prepped for the Easter dinner that I have to make. I haven't gotten the Easter baskets done, or the Easter eggs stuffed. (Miss 15, of course I don't do that, the Easter Bunny brings those wonderful gifts and goodies for you, I just have to tell everyone I do that so I look extra busy!) I went downstairs this morning and dug out the plastic eggs, so at least I've gotten one step out of the way.

We leave tomorrow on a whirlwind trip in a loop that will lead us from the northern half of the state, to the southern half of the state and then halfway across the state. Friday we head back north and then Saturday we head west and make it home, a perfect loop covering half of the state totaling 7 hours of driving time, minimum. Whee... Mr 19 will join us on Thursday evening as he will be out of college classes for Easter break. I shouldn't whine about my driving schedule as he will manage to put in at least 14 hours of driving time this weekend.

We plan on picking up the girls from school tomorrow and immediately hitting the road. Luckily the weather looks good and after the winter driving we've endured this winter we are so grateful for that. We'll be at our destination around dinner time. Which means we get to go out to eat. We rarely do that here, and I'm looking forward to not having to cook and to getting to a larger town with much, much better restaurant choices. Now the only problem will be that we all need to agree on a restaurant choice. That could put is in some dangerous territory.

Friday is Miss 15's appointments with her pediatric cardiologist. We'll have an EKG and chest x-ray in the morning, and the other appointments in the afternoon. I'm a little anxious. It's not that I expect any new information, I'm just hoping for a better solution.

Miss 15 is hoping the appointments go well, but mostly she's hoping to do lots of shopping, I fear that will be hard to fit in. Miss 10 and Mr 19 won't want to spend much time shopping. I have a long list of things that I need at a home improvement store. I lead such an exciting life! Blinds! Floor Vents! Light Switch Plates! Kitchen Cabinet Knobs! Hold me back!

So to everyone who reads, have a blessed Easter. Enjoy the new beginnings that Easter promises, enjoy the chocolate and jelly beans, and enjoy your family.

I'm Not In The Mood!

2009-04-07T13:09:00.002-05:00

I can not believe that Easter is just around the corner. I've been begging Spring to get it's act together and make an appearance around here, but up until this week it's been pretty much a no show. I was going to post pictures of the snow banks we still have in our yard, and the dirt and dust on the streets, but I am too lazy to get them out of my camera at the moment, plus it's just depressing to look at. Instead I am avoiding looking down when I'm outside, and instead look up at the blue sky and robins that have finally shown themselves.

I haven't even taken any of our Easter decorations off the shelves to put them out. I have gorgeous little Easter baskets, and beautiful natural looking eggs to put out, but I am just not in the mood. This winter had been such a downer, and my Vitamin D must just be as low as it has ever been. So instead I tell myself that I've just been too busy to do it. But the truth is, I'm just not in the mood. Winter has defeated me this year, and it's going to take some real spring effort to get me going again. So Spring... here is your challenge... get it going, push hard, I'm waiting!!!

I Love To Eat!

2009-03-31T08:10:00.010-06:00

I love to eat, but I'm pretty picky about what I eat. Yes, there are times where I put things in my mouth that aren't very good for me, but I like to think those incidents are pretty far between. Because of that I'm always on the look out for new, healthy recipes that my family would like. Most of us won't eat anything that is remotely related to a fish. (I used to, then I was pregnant with Mr 19 and now the smell, sight, taste, thought of fish kicks in my gag reflex.) Miss 10 is just plain picky, if it's something mixed all together, it has to be exposed to her a dozen times before she'll finally eat it. If she chooses not to eat what I make, she can dig for leftovers in the fridge and warm it herself or she can make herself a PB and J. Miss 15 will try new things, and eats most anything, and college has done wonders for Mr 19 and he's willing to eat most things that are home cooked meals now.

I do all my weekly menu planning over the weekend, and on Monday I go out to stock our shelves. Oftentimes, because I live in the middle of the continent, I don't find what I need at one store, so I have to head out again later in the week to find the things I missed on Monday, or to hopefully find some decent fruits and vegetables that aren't wilted, bruised, browned or pathetic. I try to plan my weekly meals around one beef meal, one chicken breast meal, one vegetarian meal and the rest fall into the "other" category.

Many times I need meals that can either be in the slow cooker all day, or can be made and ready to eat in thirty to forty-five minutes. Last night we tried a new recipe out for soup, it was awesome. I'm not known for following a recipe exactly, so I did modify the recipe to suit our tastes and product availability. The original recipe was from Cooking Light magazine. It was called Summer Corn and White Bean Soup. I didn't vary it a lot, and I didn't move far enough away from the ingredients to change the healthful aspects of it. The recipe is full of fiber, and very filling. Bonus points because it was easy to make, and the ingredients are really easy to find, even where I live! So, after that long introduction, here is my version of

Corn and White Bean Soup

1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 cup sliced green onions
1/2 cup chopped sweet onion (walla walla or vidalia)
1 tsp. chopped garlic
3/4 cup chopped ham
3 cups fresh corn kernels OR 2 cans Green Giant corn
(I used 1 can shoepeg and one super sweet yellow and white corn)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
4 cups chicken broth (I added more to this as needed depending how long the soup simmered)
2 (15 ounce) cans navy beans, rinsed and drained
1 (4.5 ounce) can chopped green chiles, undrained
1/2 to 3/4 tsp. ground cumin
cayenne pepper flakes- to taste
Shredded monterey jack pepper cheese

1. Heat olive oil in Dutch oven over medium heat. Add onions and ham and cook 3 minutes, stirring frequently, add garlic and cook 30 seconds more, you don't want the garlic to burn, yuck!
2. Add rinsed corn and stir continuously for 1 minute, letting corn brown ever so slightly. Stir in chicken broth and remaining ingredients except for pepper jack cheese. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes or so. (Mine was sitting for about half an hour waiting for Hubby to get home, it did just fine, I added a little more chicken broth as needed.) Taste, add more salt or pepper to suit your fancy.
3. Serve with shredded pepper jack cheese on the top. Enjoy!

Variation: I think this soup would be really, really good if you left out the ham, and served it with peppered bacon cooked crisp and chopped up on the top. Don't add it to your soup, bacon just gets soggy then, but serve it on top with the pepper jack cheese. When you make the soup without ham, you would probably need to adjust your seasonings a bit. This would be an easy soup to add your favorite things to, it's a good base recipe.

Serve it with cornbread and a salad, Yummy!

For my sister, who is on the road with her husband (still!) this is something you could easily make on the road, it's nothing you have to have an in home kitchen to make. To my lactose intolerant family members, leave off the cheese, problem solved, and for the rest of you, try it, you'll like it!

Enjoy!

Blips

2009-03-30T12:01:00.002-06:00

BLIP NUMBER 1: A few months back I got a new oven. I was so excited. Now, not as much excited as frustrated. It hasn't worked right since we got it. First it would heat up, but then allow the temperature to drop 40 degrees before reheating, this makes everything take forever to get done. A call to the store, the repair man comes, he replaces the thermostat. Still the dang thing just isn't working right. It's even more frustrating because we paid the extra money for a convection oven, and it actually takes longer when I use convection then it does when I use it on a regular setting. This time we took pictures of things we had cooked at the time they were supposed to be done, and took it to the store. Chicken breasts are taking over an hour. Every night I use the thing I'm so frustrated I turn into the Queen Crabby Mother. The store contacts GE, the maker of the stove. The GE rep tells them that they typically try to repair new stoves twice before they replace them altogether. Fine, they send another part, the repair man comes and replaces the entire "mother board" of the stove. We've used it twice. It still takes forever to cook things that should be done in much less time. Do I live with it, or make a nuisance of myself and call again?

BLIP NUMBER 2: Where I am thrilled to have the girls done with swimming for a while, I am not so thrilled with the behavior of Miss 10. Apparently not having anything to do after school means that you can ask for someone to come home with you EVERY SINGLE DAY, and when the mean horrible person that is your mother says no, you are entitled to a major melt down! This meltdown can, may, and often does consist of slamming of doors, stomping of feet, yelling, crying, screaming, burying yourself in your pillow, refusing to do every day tasks and general surliness. It's lovely really. Mean Mother has taken to sending Miss 10 down to the treadmill for some walking and running. Don't knock it, it helps. Regular exercise is the only thing that keeps her emotions in check. Thank goodness volleyball starts next week, and track starts at the end of April.

BLIP NUMBER 3: I love my Wii Fit. But if it keeps telling me that I am gaining 2.2 pounds every four days I'm going to have to unplug it and give it away. It goes like this: you've lost .6 pounds, for about 3 days, then the fourth day it says you've gained 2.2 pounds SINCE YOUR LAST VISIT. I don't think so.... unplug~chuck machine through window.

BLIP NUMBER 4: I have to sub on Friday. I have become a complete germ-o-phobe about going into the school. I know I am irrational. I know I'm exposed to germs every where I go, but at the moment all I can think about is going into a classroom where just last week every third kid was gone with the stomach flu. I'm so stressed about it that it's becoming an obsession.

BLIP NUMBER 5: Mr 19 texted me a picture of him in fatigues last week saying, "How do I look?" I cried. Even though he hadn't (yet) signed up, he was just putting on his buddies fatigues,I still flipped. I don't want him to sign, and I don't want him to use me as the excuse that he doesn't. Then later this week he offered to pay part of something that he wanted after I said it was too expensive for me to buy him. "I'll cover some of it, I'll be gettin money." I know what that means.

BLIP NUMBER 6: We did not get the blizzard that the bottom third of our state did, that's the third winter storm in a row we have missed out on, and I am so grateful! It's not warm here, but it didn't snow. Hooray!

CatchUp

2009-03-25T08:56:00.004-06:00

What a weekend! We are finally home, and happily nearly caught up with the loads of laundry that were produced, along with the seriously lacking sleep we were able to endure. The photos above are indicative of how the whole weekend felt~Chaotic! State Swim Meets bring together 14 teams of swimmers here along with nearly 2 parents per swimmer. There is no room for spectators and swimmers at a pool. Whoever builds pools never seems to consider that there might be people there watching, and thus the space allotted to spectators is seriously lacking. We were cramped, crowded and crabby for 2.5 days just as I expected.

It amazes me how some team's parents seem to think they have the right to a certain area of bleachers and no one else is allowed to invade their space. One certain team in particular decided they could take up an entire section of bleachers, they had balloons, banners and very few people there saving an entire section of bleachers. As I said, there were 14 different teams there. There are 6 sections of bleachers, and one team claimed an entire section. Logically that makes no sense to me, it is such a sign of selfishness. After the first day of swimming (really half a day) the host team sent over representatives to discuss the situation with those particular parents, and they had the gall to actually argue with those representatives, claiming that they "needed" all that space. That's some good sportsmanship! As parents, shouldn't we be setting the examples? Isn't that our job? This same crew of parents also consistently did team cheers over any announcements that were done regarding records or high scores being set by other teams. Again, we have a great example of immaturity.
But I take heart that the rest of the teams were kind, courteous, generous with cheering regardless of team affiliation, and more than willing to allow others to sit with them.

On to more positive notes. Miss 15 was top ten in every event she swam this weekend. She cut time in 6 out of 7 of her events and Hubby and I were very proud. She had a great time staying with a friend from the host town, and this allowed Miss 10 a bed of her own in the hotel room, I think that fact led to both of them being more rested, always a good thing. Miss 10 also cut time in 6 out of 7 events. She placed in the top ten in several events, and in the top 20 in the remaining events. Her relay teams were incredible placing fourth and sixth overall. Both times they just missed a higher placing by hundredths of a second.

Hubby and I were crowded and hot and tired of sitting. For most of the three days we couldn't both leave our seats at the same time for fear of losing them, this posed a few challenges. The first full day we were at the pool for 11 hours, and the second day we were there for 8 hours. The noise in the pool negated most chances for conversation and left ringing in our ears much like a rock concert does. We saw some incredible shows of sportsmanship by the swimmers, lots of hugs, high fives and a few belly bumps, and those weren't from team mates, they were from opposing swimmers. I love that swimmers are friends up to the race, competitors in the pool, and back to being friends the moment they get out.

Our drive home was mostly silent aside from requests for more food from the back seat. Both girls were famished and exhausted. We were all a little nervous to come home to a house that Mr 19 had been alone in for 2 days. On the surface things looked pretty good, but as the past few days have gone by I notice little things that make me suspicious: a picture knocked off the wall, a mysterious nick out of my table, 15 or so two inch stains on my carpeting, marks on the kitchen floor, both windows in the garage wide open, a ton of food disappeared, unusual garbage on the deck, a strange un-removable mark on the tv in the kitchen, sticky strange things on pictures in the kitchen, tons of dried grass, leaves and sand piled up at both the front and back door...

We are glad to be home, and we are very proud of the girls and all their hard work, but at the moment, we are most excited that swim season is over for a while. It's exhausting sitting and watching them!

Atypical

2009-03-19T15:02:00.002-06:00

Typically I would write a Love Thursday post here, but at the moment my head just keeps swimming around with the things I need to get ready in order to leave tomorrow and the thoughts my son has put in my head.

For those of you who haven't heard, and really I don't think there is anyone because I keep whining and whining about it, Mr 19 has decided that he is "very seriously considering" enlisting with the National Guard this spring/summer. Which essentially means that my heart spends part of the time not beating, part of the time beating too fast, part of the time not beating in correct rhythm, and part of the time filled with a small smidgen of pride (that part, however, is very nervous and very small). But mostly I am just afraid. I'm not going to list the whys, what's, how's and who's of what I am afraid of, the list is long and dreary and no one needs to think my thoughts, or stay awake nights thinking my thoughts as I have done so often lately. Instead I will tell you that I have talked, Hubby has talked, we have listed concerns, other ideas, asked why, asked when, asked how this came to be, and still we have no answers. Mr 19 brought this up to us two weeks ago, he is now home on spring break, and has been since Sunday, any attempt we make to discuss it with him isn't looked upon kindly, and the questions we ask are answered curtly. His response typically has been, 'It's just something I want to do." Bearing in mind the side of me that ALWAYS prepares for the worst, in my head I have already realized that this is almost certainly a reality, and I am preparing myself for that end. My emotions are raw and my anger is quick at the moment. I am afraid I will say things I don't want to when anyone questions me about it, and I'm afraid I will break down and cry when anyone questions me about it. For now, I realize there is not a thing Hubby and I can do to make his mind up for him, and I know that he probably already has his mind made up, and he's just too afraid to tell us. I'm afraid for him to tell me too.

On another note I leave for the weekend tomorrow at noon, and also leave said son here in my house for two days. That makes me nervous as well, very, very nervous.

We are leaving for a State USA Swim Meet. Both our girls are swimming which means my rear will be planted on bleacher seats for 2.5 days. I hate bleacher seats, and I especially hate bleacher seats when it is crowded and hot. This will be both. I am excited to watch the girls swim, but not at all excited to sit and sit and sit some more. Bleacher sitting plus the two hour drive each way may be all my back and rear can take. Miss 15 has 1 relay and 7 events, Miss 10 swims 2 relays and 7 events. They'll both be exhausted by Sunday's drive home, as will I, and all I have to do is sit, and sit, and sit, and sit... funny how tiring that can be.

Send fast vibes the way of the girls this weekend. They both have high hopes. And send cush-y vibes my way please.

brilliant poetry

2009-03-18T15:15:00.003-06:00

Spring break is the pits
son huge messes and stresses
when do classes start

poor decisions made

hurt feelings for the youngest

teachers know better

last week of swimming

state can't be over fast enough

swim fast girls swim fast

What It Is

2009-03-13T12:14:00.004-06:00

Yesterday Hubby generously offered to take his mother with him on a short trip. He needed to travel 3.5 hours north to pick up something he had purchased for the farm. His mother has a cousin who lives about 20 minutes from that destination. So Hubby offered to take her along, then drive her the short distance further for a short visit. She hasn't seen this cousin more than once in her life, but they do talk on the phone now and again, so she was anxious to take the trip. Hubby dreaded it a bit, as his mother has a tendency to talk, A LOT. What I really mean is she has a bit of anxiety problem with silence when she is with someone else, anyone else. She fills the silence with talking, non stop talking, often repeating the same stories over, and over, and over, or just randomly telling whatever thought happens to be running through her head. She tends to dominate every conversation when she is in a room. But, we've learned to live with it, however Hubby dreaded the 7+ hours in the car with her, hoping he wouldn't have to hear too many of the same old stories.

As it turned out, the trip wasn't too bad, and Hubby's mom really enjoyed her short visit with her cousin. He is a Friar at a monastery, so they got to tour the monastery and hear stories of the lives there. Part of the monastery's money making project is an ongoing rummage sale. The people in the area drop things off constantly and the Friar's run a store with the donations left there. Hubby's mother always feels the need to buy things when they are on clearance anywhere, so this was a ripe opportunity for her. (Our family constantly gets gifts with the clearance tags left on.) For some reason she felt the need to buy me something... and well... I'll let you see for yourself:

Yeah... that's sort of what I thought too. When I got it, it wasn't quite this shiny, I did wash it, and then polished it, yes, it is copper, but that's all I know. The top picture is a side view, the bottom is a top view. So I'm asking you... do you know... what it is??

Love/Hate

2009-03-12T08:45:00.002-06:00

I have a fat cat.

There, I said it, my confession for the day. Our cat, is huge, not just merely a little overweight. He is a giant. He is not fat because we feed him table scraps or overfeed him his cat food, he gets less than half a cup a day, he doesn't get too many treats every day, and he doesn't have a toddler or infant around who he can sneak bites from. Our cat is fat because he is the laziest being on the planet, even more lazy than a the typical house cat. Decker just sits, he doesn't play, he doesn't go outside, he doesn't chase the girls around, in fact the only exercise he gets is when I stomp my foot as he's walking through the room and scare him into bolting back to where he came from. Not that I would ever do that! *Oh, wait, yes, I would do that, I don't really like our cat, and he doesn't much care for me either. But that's ok, I'm willing to be the bad guy when he's willing to destroy my house with his hairballs and claws.

Recently I found something that will make him exercise of his own free will. While shopping at The Wal-Mart , I found a scratch pad with a little zipper pouch on the back. Do you know what you are supposed to put in the little zipper pouch? Cat Nip. If you've never seen a cat who has enjoyed the pleasures of cat nip, you wouldn't know what a complete sensory overload these cats apparently enjoy. (However, if in college, you saw people testing their sensory perceptions after a little marijuana, then you are on the right track.) The scratch pad I found is about the size of a piece of paper, it's got a rough front side and a fabric backside where the pouch is. It is Decker's favorite toy, in fact it is the only toy he even plays with. It doesn't even have to have fresh nip in it. He bolts to the living room and attacks the pad with the ferocity of... well, ok, not so much ferocity, but he does attack it in his own way. He grabs it with his claws, rolls all over it, picks it up and smacks it around, rolls on his back and lays it on top of him, then does it all over again. Then he puts his face as close as possible to the pouch on the back, and his eyes glaze over, his pupils dilate and suddenly he bolts from the room and tears around the house, then comes back for more of the same routine. This lasts for about 5 minutes. When you are a 22 pound cat, that's all the energy you have for running around the house. Then he's suddenly ready for a long, warm nap.

Miss 10 is Decker's favorite person to lay with for these naps. He will stand in front of her and cry until she goes and sits or lays in a chair, he hops up and is purring loudly enough that she has to turn the tv up in order to hear it. Then he sleeps. He will sit or lay anywhere that she will, because... he loves her. The photo above has been purposely blurred at the edges in order to prevent the embarrassment of our incredibly fat cat. He would be mortified to see himself in this shape.

Happy Love Thursday everyone!

Flip It

2009-03-09T08:29:00.002-06:00

Last night I set Miss 10 up at the computer to do some research. She has 3 states she has to do reports on, and needed to fill out information sheets on each one. She knows how to look for the information, and usually knows which sources are good ones to trust. While she worked I made dinner and answered her questions now and then. Later she asked me if I could please look up a few of the informational questions on her states that she was unable to find. While she showered I looked at her sheets to figure out what I needed to research.

New Hampshire

State Motto: Live Free Or Die
State Nickname: Granite State
State Bird: Middle Finger
State Song: Old New Hampshire

Do you see it? There is a subtle mistake up there in my partial listing. She didn't catch it, but I did. I laughed until I cried, I showed Hubby, he laughed until his sides hurt. Apparently a certain site doesn't do their research well enough. I'm pretty sure the state Bird is the purple finch in N.H.

As it turned out when I pointed out the mistake Miss 10 was mortified, embarrassed and ready to kill me for laughing, so whatever you do, don't tell her I told you!

Soothing

2009-03-05T14:25:00.002-06:00

Hubby, or as one follower lovingly referred to him the other day, Mr. Bear, (which I loved by they way!), takes Miss 10 to school 95% of the time. We wake up and all get ready for the day. I keep Miss 10 on track with reminders and gentle shoves in the right direction. She loves to linger at the table, or hang out in the bathroom doing who knows what, so it's my job to keep her moving towards the door. There are days when good-bye takes 5 or more minutes just because suddenly she has so much to say. (bedtime is like that too sometimes, but that's another story) Sometimes I am saying goodbye, kisses, hugs, and more kisses literally with my hand on her back, my other hand opening the door and pushing her gently out. She's funny that way.

She hops in the van with Hubby and I wave from the front window, every day I wave. They wave back and I scoot back into the bathroom to take the short time Hubby is gone to do something with my hair. On the way to school they listen to news and discuss the headlines, or to music and Miss 10 yells at Hubby to stop singing along. In a loving way of course. Hubby drives back home to eat a quick breakfast with me before heading to work at the farm. While on his way back to the house he listens to either AM radio, which I absolutely can not stand, or FM rock or country stations that typically drive me nutso because they are just pathetic here.

But here is the kicker, and it never fails, when I leave the house to go get in the van to go do my thing every day, the radio station is at a normal volume level, meaning very quite, and it is never on C.R.A.P radio, it is always lovingly tuned into Prairie Public Radio, aaaaahhhh, soothing. Sigh... I think, he loves me.

Happy Love Thursday everyone!

Study Skills

2009-03-03T10:35:00.005-06:00

We aren't conventional sit at the table or desk and study people at our house apparently. Last night Miss 10 had several subjects of homework. This is how she sat while we practiced her spelling words. She wouldn't dream of doing this at school, but at home, I figure if she's working hard, and not distracted, we're all good. After all, I hate to sit at a desk, I'd rather lay across the kitchen floor myself, or study with my head hanging off the side of the bed or couch. So since she was getting all the words right, I didn't object.
Please take note of the size of her feet, I believe she must be headed for another growth spurt. This would also be an indicator of why she is swimming so well at the moment.

After a shower break and a few moments of chatting, we settled in to study for a Social Studies test. Apparently my desire to hang my head off the side of the couch has influenced her desire to study in this position. A few moments later as I started quizzing her she scooted closer to the edge and flopped her head over the side of the table. We were studying the inventor of the cotton gin, who built a locomotive named the Tom Thumb and the steam engine. Sometimes the facts we memorize for these tests are so useless. But that's just my humble opinion...

Later for good measure, we turned on our super secret brain powered machine and plugged in Miss 10.

Postless

2009-03-02T15:45:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I just can't think of a thing that would be interesting enough to write about. I look at this blog every day, and I see the same boring post up, and yet I still can't think of something new, exciting or controversial to write about.

Over the weekend Mr 19 came home briefly to watch his friends who are still in high school swim an important meet. He arrived home late on Friday and was gone by noon on Sunday. In that time he did manage to make a big mess of his room, and provide a stress level in me that I haven't seen in quite some time. More on that when I get up the courage to even think about it in my frontal lobe. Right now I'm hoping to just let it simmer in the back of my brain where it doesn't take my breath away and cause my heart to stop beating. (If you know, shhhhhhh! I and no one else wants or needs to know about it! Quiet in your comments! Reveal no secrets! No one else needs or wants the stress.)

We had yet another swim meet with the girls, where they each posted incredible results again: a few first place ribbons, and nothing lower than a fourth. I'm not looking forward to next season when Miss 10 ages up and must once again start at the bottom of the pack. It was so incredibly exciting to see her in the final heat in lane four. (Lane four is for the fastest seed in the event, meaning in that event she had the fastest time for her age group) I don't recall that ever happening to one of my children before.

Hubby and I are spending hours doing some deep cleaning of the house, which means we are taking bags and bags to the trash, and loads of boxes to the school rummage sale. I look through things and wonder why in the world I ever kept them, and then I stumble on a box of things that tug at my heart strings. I discovered a box of 12 month old girls clothing. It was full of adorable dresses, jumpers, pj's and shoes, and all of it made me cry. NO, I most definitely don't want another, but it is such a testament to the passage of time to see those tiny clothes then in the next moment have your 90 pound daughter leaping up for you to hold her as she nearly knocks you over.

Mercury and Evinrude

2009-02-23T13:50:00.002-06:00

After a weekend of swim meet I am exhausted, and I can't imagine how tired the girls must be. Just sitting in the heat of the pool for two days straight and helping organize little people and timers made me feel like I was the one who swam. My poor girls dealt with shivering, swimming and the chaos that goes along with it, and they had to go to school as normal today. I expect a lot of them.

We have now given the girls new nicknames, not that either of them likes them, but Mercury and Evinrude appear to be appropriate after the weekend they had. Can you guess why we chose those names?

Both girls had awesome swims this weekend, and both had swims that took them out of their comfort zone. Meaning, both girls begged me to let them scratch at least one event, and I, being an evil and horrible meanie, said no. Miss 10 swam a 200 IM (50 butterfly, 50 back, 50 breast and 50 free all in one race) and Miss 15 had to swim the 100 breast, which strains her former surgery incisions and makes her legs shake. Both took 2nd in each of those events. Hooray! They also swam events that they did incredibly well in. They will both bring home 10 different placing ribbons, including at least one first for each of them. Miss 10 being the anchor of a relay that won them the race and Miss 15 taking first in a backstroke event while suffering through yet another "heart spell" followed by a quick run to the bathroom to revisit her lunch, still, took first! Whoo! She was fine by the way, she blames her heart when that happens, I blame her nerves, whatever it was she was swimming and eating again within moments.

Both girls also were able to place ahead of rivals who they have never beat before, so they were excited. I was just happy they were happy, I really don't care where they place. But still, tears to see them cheering for themselves.

This week we have a fundraiser where each child is asked to swim 200 lengths or two hours. So back to the pool I will go to count lengths. Then Sunday, yet another swim meet. Then we are off until the State meet in March, where both girls have now qualified many events. Sigh... swim season goes on forever!

But Everyone Else Is Doing It

2009-02-18T09:51:00.002-06:00

And I don't get to! Stomp, stomp! Pout, pout...

Tropical beaches, mountain vistas, ocean views. Nearly everyone we know these days is planning, has just returned from or is leaving soon on a vacation of one kind or another. 6 sets of couples just returned from a cruise that left out of Florida just over 2 weeks ago. 6 couples, all with children, most with children in school. How did they find people to do their parenting and running so they could get away alone? How do parents do that? It baffles me.

Our neighbors left for Cancun over the weekend, sans children. My sister is spending a month (!!) in Hawaii this spring. My cousin has trips planned to fun locals that you can read about on her blog.(although some of their trips are work related) Hubby's cousin had a trip to Las Vegas planned for last week, however her husband got snowed in at work and couldn't get home for them to go. And a tiny, evil, vindictive part of me was sort of glad they couldn't go, that's how jealous I was, but the other 99.9% of me was so sad for them especially when they have yet to get any of their money back. Several acquaintances have recently returned from ski trips, and still more are planning trips that leave very soon.

Perhaps it's the weather these days making people decide to head out to far reaching locals. Lord knows it's not a lot of fun being here at the moment. But my biggest wonderment still comes down to how do they do it? How do you pull your kids out of school to take them along, or if you aren't taking them, how do you find someone willing to uproot their lives to take over yours for a while?

I am so incredibly jealous of all of them. Our biggest deterrent though has to be cost, and perhaps it's because I don't work full time or even part time at the moment. How do you pay the every day bills and still take trips? Any money we would have that is extra goes to paying for a hotel room to take our girls to a state swim meet, plus the fees that go along with swimming that meet. Then there are the hotel bills we will be paying for a medical appointment out of town for Miss 15 in April, plus the medical appointment costs.

I'm crabby, tired of the weather and so jealous of everyone who gets to take a trip that it makes me resentful and irritated. Today, I am not feeling one bit generous or giving. Today, I am feeling frustrated and petty.

Stomp, stomp, pout, pout! No Fair!!

Scene 1 (tissue warning!!!)

2009-02-16T14:01:00.002-06:00

Setting: 10:30 last night, 1.5 hours after Miss 10 was supposed to be in bed and sleeping. Mother is at the computer checking emails and considering a glass of w(h)ine and a brief half hour of adult time with Hubby.

Miss 10 walks on the set.
10- obviously upset, crying "Mom, can you come in my room I need to talk to you."

Mother follows into bedroom.
Mom- concerned and suspicious at the same time. "What is it, why are you crying?"

10- "I can't stop thinking about dying." follow with heart breaking sobs.

Mom-"Why in the world are you thinking about that?"

10-"I don't knowwwwww... (Sobbing, wiping nose and eyes and looking incredibly sad) I just can't help it and I can't sleep. I don't want anyone to die! I don't want to die! Why do I have to be the youngest so that I have to go through everyone dying!"

Mom- hugging 10 and wiping tears "Oh honey. This isn't something you need to think about right now. There shouldn't be such sad thoughts in your head before bedtime."

Never-the-less a discussion ensues about the value of life, the thoughts of people waiting for you in heaven and the wonderings of whether or not you remember each other while you are in heaven and others aren't. More sobbing, nose wiping and hugging, a few giggles and some snuggling. Questions about being the youngest and her siblings dying before she does. Mother reassures of future husbands and children's who will be with her.

10-"I wish you weren't my mom!"

Mom-hurt, surprised "why in the world would you wish that? I love being your Mom! It's the best job I have ever had, why wouldn't you want me for your mother?"

10-"because, if you weren't my mom, you wouldn't have to die so much before me and I wouldn't have to live so much of my life without you!"

More crying, this time, from the Mother and Daughter... sleep being a long way off now. Fade.....

All We Need Is Love

2009-02-12T16:36:00.003-06:00

Happy Love Thursday everyone!

The first picture is the cookies Miss 15 got from one of her swim students. She's a coach and her athletes love her. They hang on her and beg for her attention whenever she's around the pool. They cheer for her at meets and she does the same for them.

The 2nd photo is of Miss 10's Valentine box for school. Actually it's just the top. Usually we do a theme of some kind, but this year she just wanted a pretty box. So we made it on Tuesday when school was canceled due to the weather. She also filled out all her Valentine cards that day and was ready to go for their class party today.

2nd Verse, same as the First

2009-02-10T16:13:00.003-06:00

Stew

2009-02-06T10:12:00.002-06:00

You know when you have a little of everything, you throw it in the pot and call it stew, or soup? (Actually I would never do that, but you get the point, right?) That's what this post is like, a little of everything.

Yesterday Miss 15 texted me at about noon. (I know, shame on her, in school... bad, bad girl!) She asked if I could come and pick her up at lunch because her heart was misbehaving, again, and she was feeling awful. So I picked her up and brought her home. I offered to make her some lunch, but she decided to make her own instead. Her stomach hurt and her arms were numb. This is nothing new when it comes to how her heart makes her feel, but it is new to have both together. I made her sit for a while to get her heart slowed, then she changed clothes and decided to nap. Her heart racing like that exhausts her, to the point where she's barely coherent sometimes. So she crawled into bed with her usual mountain of covers and a fan on for noise. After 2 hours I decided I needed to wake her and see if she was able to go to work (coach at the pool) or if she felt better, etc. I went in her room and put her clean clothes on her dresser, talking softly the whole time. She never even moved, I spoke a little louder and wiggled her foot. She didn't move. I moved closer to her ear, shook her shoulder, touched her face, and she never moved. For these brief few moments my heart stopped, I had this terrified feeling of panic that she just wasn't going to wake up and I should have checked on her sooner. I pulled the blankets off her shoulders, shook her a bit and said her name. She jumped and rolled over to look at me. My legs shook, the relief was so intense. It didn't even last a full minute, but for that short time I was scared to death. How our mind can move to those scary places so quickly is surprising sometimes. She's fine today and was fine by shortly after her nap. Although now she is asking if we could look into having the same surgery again, to see if it wouldn't work this time. There are no pediatric cardiologists in our state any more, nor in the one that is 30 miles just to my west. So traveling will ensue with this project.

Mr 19 went and visited his cousins, aunt and uncle last weekend. They are 4 hours from where he goes to college now, so he trekked their direction for his cousin's final home swim meet of his high school career. My sister in law called to tell me what an amazing kid he is, how much fun they had with him, how he picked up after himself, made his bed, was helpful and polite. I asked her if she was sure this was my son and not an impostor. He's not like that here, ever. But maybe we can take solace in the fact that he is like that with others. We may have done something right!

Facebook has reunited me with a friend from high school who I thought I had lost forever. Hi Lo!! She reads here now as well. I can't tell you how much it pleases me to visit with her again. She makes me laugh, she makes me feel better about myself and she's an awesome person. Good to have you back, Lo!

Hubby and I have offered our girls a short trip away from home. We gave them 4 destinations to choose from and options at all the places for some fun, food and relaxing. The girls have a 4 day weekend coming up, and Hubby and are are VERY anxious to get away. But the girls aren't. They just want to stay home. Perhaps because they are so busy every other day of their lives, just staying home will feel like a vacation to them. Plus I am sure they are anxious to spend some time with their friends. But it is really disappointing to Hubby and I. We were both looking forward to a short trip.

This weekend we are headed 120 miles east for a two day swim meet. Miss 10 will compete and Miss 15 will coach. Both will be exhausted and crabby from the heat and activities. We have tons of errands and purchases that need to be done while we are there. We will not have happy campers traveling with us. And, naturally, since we are leaving there is now a chance for snow, wind and just after we get home (hopefully it will wait!) a winter storm.

Is that enough ingredients for a good stew? I hope so, because now I am being summoned to get moving and get some work done.

Enjoy the stew!